'Tis Mercy All

It's All Good

2012-01-30T10:19:00.000-06:00

It is true: God is good all the time. Sometimes it's hard to wrap my feeble human heart and mind around that truth...you know, when things are hard, or when pain and confusion come. But it is Truth. And all He sends my way is Good.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Seems like I go through growth spurts and regressions in this area of giving thanks for everything and in everything. I've not been consistently thankful and trusting in all things all the time. God's shown me this, and by His grace, I'm returning to the attitude that says, "Thank you for this gift. I know it is your best for me, intended for my good; intended for Your glory; allowed so I might be more like Jesus. This goes for the happy and pleasant and for the ugly, difficult, and bewildering. Thank You for this gift from Your Hand. It is right and loving."

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

I Thessalonians 5:18

What's been interesting lately has been the grace to look at a day or a week, and simultaneously see the yuck and the steps in the right direction, rather than being fixated on the "bad."

In church yesterday, I felt sad about the times I knew I should've been kinder or more sensitive or more/less fill-in-the-blank here, and was momentarily tempted to camp out there, when the Spirit brought to mind the awesome gospel talk I had with one of the girls this week and other positive situations.

I am rejoicing at the little improvements in home habits. I was particularly happy about these two little bits of progress:

*finding and trying out a really tasty non-soup crock pot recipe that was a hit with most of my people...I am tweaking it to be just what we like, but ah, a refreshing change!

*finding and trying out a breakfast crock pot recipe: a hearty meal ready in that am?! What's NOT to rejoice over in that?

Hop over to Gracelaced to see how other sisters in Jesus are acknowledging God's grace today...

*
Photos: CA found a way to enjoy her Legos without The Destroyer (aka Baby) interfering: set them up on the kitchen island, climb up onto the island from a chair, then have someone remove the chair, so CJ won't stand up too and help herself to the Legos. Love it.

Thoughts from This Week

2012-01-26T22:27:00.000-06:00

Yet the Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,

and in the night His song shall be with me,

and my prayer unto the God of my life.

Psalm 42:8

The above scripture has been an encouragement to me the past few days. I keep going back and reading it throughout the day...

And those cute Valentine's cups? I've had those for years now. They were cheap little things from the grocery store. Each year, I put them out on V-Day morning for the girls with a treat inside - sometimes a small homemade goodie, and other times just candy. I love Valentine's Day. Always have. There's just something special about kids (and grown ups!) exchanging kind sentiments with one another. And the hearts and flowers and chocolate. Oh, yes, it's all good: a fun, lighthearted holiday at our house.

We've even decorated a bit, which for me is a big deal. I'm not a big seasonal or holiday decorator. We've got our gel window clings and some garlands, and some Valentine's art one of the girls did a few years ago.

Last year, I made whoopie pies for the girls to take to school for Valentine's Day. So. Fun. They were scrumptious - and so cute. We'll see if I'm on my game by then...I'd love to make those sweet treats again!

And now, cue the angel choir, because do you see that in the photo above?? As unglamorous as it is, that's the retention pond at the end of our street. You know, where the rain water runoff goes! RAINwater! Guys, we had the most delicious all-night thunderstorms one night this week, and another full day of intermittent rain. And you know what spells relief for seasonal allergy sufferers, right? R.A.I.N. What a blessed, blessed relief. Such a wonderful break! Thanks be to God!

Besides knocking the pollen out of the air for a bit, this rain is a very welcome event in light of the severe drought here. We're so thankful.

Here is another cheerful pick-me-up: roses blooming in January. What a treat! This one is on the rosebush we were given at AH's adoption celebration. I'm so happy it's thriving like it is...

There have been many precious moments this week, when God helped me be alert to His kindness and care for me. I wish I could put them all down here. I wish I could remember them all! But my brain-processing speed at the moment is telling me it's past my bedtime, that this day is done.

I will recount this, though. One of my girls is struggling with issues of faith. I think I've mentioned it here a bit, but she has lots of questions. How do we know that what we believe is right? How do we know the beliefs of other religions aren't the Truth? What if all of it's not true (the Bible, gospel, etc)? She wants to believe. She struggles with fear - What if it's all true? What if it's not? What does that mean for me?

BB and I have been praying, looking for opportunities to speak the gospel to her in her heart language as they say at Wycliffe Bible Translators. This one has a very unique way of thinking, of processing the world around her. It's not sufficient to speak to her in the same manner as we do with our others. Anyway, I'm so excited, because I see God at work. Night before last, I was blessed to have a really meaningful talk and prayer with her, in which I helped her see that she can tell her heart to God, even things like, God, I don't know what to believe. Help me to know. Give me faith in Jesus. (Ephesians 2:8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God). She told God of her fear. Communicating this way at all with the Lord - in such a personal and honest way - is a first for her. I'm very encouraged.

Then, today, during correction for disobedience, God allowed another special conversation, in which I was able to speak different elements of the gospel and repentance to her and she asked insightful questions and seemed to get it like I've not seen before.

God is at work. Glory to Him!

Have a beautiful weekend, friends. Thank you so much for visiting here

Crying on the Couch - Grace Laced Monday

2012-01-23T14:15:00.000-06:00

I've been sick for the past three weeks. I am sure those closest to me are about sick of hearing me say allergies. And thankfully, it's just a season...a few weeks to go and this'll be past. In the meantime, however, the fog brought on by my body's reaction to cedar pollen is a thick one. I mean, I really have a hard time thinking at all, outside of the basics that need to be done around here. Very auto-pilot, which in a way feels like a bit of a step back as we've been aiming for more order and such in our family life.

BB blessed me with some quiet moments (a couple of hours, really) Saturday morning while he took all 6 out for a little breakfast and errands. This means, of course, that he also let me sleep in, yipeeee! And while I'm bragging on my husband, I'll add: he brought me flowers Friday night when he got home from work and went back out later to procure two boxes of lotion tissues for my worn out nose - how can I thank God enough for this kind of best friend?!

So, back to Saturday morning. I sat on the couch with my coffee, cheese toast and Bible study things, and cried my eyes out. It was loud. I cried out loud in the privacy of my empty home. It was nice, and so needed, except for the fact that it puffed up my eyes and nose even more than they already were, but oh, well...

I cried because I'm weary of being sick and muddled in my brain (I know it could be far, far worse, and I am counting the blessing of this very small suffering); I cried because motherhood is hard and sometimes you just get a glimpse of your own sin and it hurts - it's not hopeless, but it hurts; I wept more because what I felt in my heart was God, I'm not getting anywhere. I'm not growing. I don't see signs of growth and change, and I don't have clear, ringing messages of truth to my heart and mind. I can't even think straight...

Oh, me of little faith...what came to me in the middle of my tearful thoughts and prayers was this -

This stumbly walk? This uncomfortable, often confusing and overwhelming place? The small suffering you are enduring? The way that seems winding and unfocused? This is the path. All that growth and change and revelation you need and seek? This is the way. While you must study His Word and call on His Name, the sanctifying won't come academically, if you will...not this kind of growth and change. No, this will come from experience. From being stretched, tried, perplexed, inadequate, and sick.

These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

I Peter 1:7

Amen and amen. May it be so, Lord Jesus, in all of us who call on Your Name....let us enjoy this grace from Your Heart...

Smashing Pumpkins

2012-01-18T17:49:00.001-06:00

I've been dying to post this really special memory from Christmas break. Near the end of our trip Back Home, dad decided it was time to head out to the woods with mom's discarded fall-decor pumpkins. Oh yes, we were in for some country fun.

Dad has a little trailer he can pull behind his mower. It's just the right size for 4-6 little girls to take a ride. And so they did, minus Baby, all bundled up on that crisp, cold, blue-sky day.

And these beautiful pumpkins? They were the intended victims of our woodsy activities...

Beware! She's been given permission to destroy...

And she did. The kids took all the smaller pumpkins and proceeded to stomp them, hurl them against trees, gouge them with sticks. Nothing like permission to ruin things on purpose!

And watch out for him, too. He means business, clearly...

Let's see how high daddy can throw the pumpkin....

....or how hard we can pitch them at trees. LC threw this one several times before it split.

MK was impressed with the way her pumpkin broke off in the shape of a slice.

Punkin' chunkin!

Then it was time for a little target practice. Dad set up the low-sodium targets, and prepared the girls to aim with a little BB gun. (And rest assured, dad is very, very cautious and attentive regarding gun safety). Most of the girls managed to hit a can after a try or two!

This was my favorite part, though. See the pumpkin carnage above? This, of course, was not the work of a BB gun. Everyone put on ear protection and stayed "behind the line" while dad and BB finished off the large pumpkins with his 12-gauge. You can see the remnants of the other pumpkins there on the ground. Told you it was country fun!

It was such a happy, shining afternoon with my dad and all the kids. Such a treasure of a memory, the kind that just makes me smile every time it comes to mind because of the random silliness of it all, and because of the joy of togetherness. (My mom was having togetherness with CJ back in the warm, cozy house, so hats off to her for babysitting!)

Lastly, this was us singing Baby It's Cold Outside at the top of our lungs for the photo.

So, wow. There's much on heart, mind, and plate these days around here. I am happy to say that we are indeed making headway in the not-drowning department! Indeed, small changes are occurring that are resulting in more order and predictability around the house (read: we are more likely to find the clothing we need clean lately, and I'm following my meal plans well, and the kids are taking on their own new responsibilities nicely - praise God!)

These simple changes, mercies from Jesus, are freeing just a bit of time, and slightly more mental space for me. This is a blessing, since, as I mentioned in my last post, my peeps are needing more and more meaningful time and conversation with mom and dad. And on top of that, we're always somewhere on the roller coaster of helping AH deal with the pain of the past - and often that is extremely time consuming and emotionally draining. Sometimes after a particularly hard or long talk with her on deep issues, we'll gather around for a movie or Netflix show. They're fond of The Twilight Zone, as are we, so it's a fun way to cuddle a bit and decompress after such intensity. TV isn't always our go-to, but I have to say, it's been a pleasant way to smooth away some of the yuck that follows after some of the hard talks. But, I am rambling.

I'm glad for some small, special moments lately and for some unpleasant things...

1168. painting CA's toenails in the middle of our busiest homeschool day

1169. mom and dad, always willing to talk - they understand our family dynamics better than anyone on earth, and I'm so glad for their listening ears and understanding hearts!!

1170. cedar pollen season

1171. being sick from the cedar pollen

1172. the awesome breakfast the kids made for me when I allowed my cedar-sick self to sleep in earlier this week (I won't embarrass myself by listing out what all I ate...)

1173. little steps of faith, thank you, Jesus: MK beginning to realize that Jesus' miracles were....real (this one struggles with matters of faith right now)

1174. sweet encouragement to this mother's heart: AH asking prayer for my allergy-sick self in Sunday school this week

1175. an amaryllis sprouting from its pot in the dining room - hope embodied

1176. oh! the fact that cedar season is over in a month or so, halleluiah!

1177. an impossibly slow, late start to our schoolday on Tuesday

1178. that long, long talk with AH that needed to happen, though it pushed our starting time even later that day

1179. God's kindness to help us finish all our school in spite of all of the above

1189. the privilege of being the ones to walk AH into, and through, her healing

1190. the delight that Baby is, despite her super-precociousness of late...oh, those dimples and her adorable attempts at talking...and the white, shiny curls...mmmm-hmmm!

1191. having BB by my side as we face all these things

This Dust Needs Grace

2012-01-16T00:27:00.000-06:00

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed; He remembers that we are dust.

Psalm 103:13-14

Today, I'm taking Ruth's gentle challenge to recognize God's graces bestowed on us, and to write about them as part of her Grace Laced Mondays.

I've written here about how intense the parenting experience has become with six little ones, one of whom has very deep wounds in her heart. And on top of that, three of my six could now qualify as tweens and are very much expressing the need and desire for more of mom and dad...more conversation, more one on one, more quality time.

This new level of needs and relating has caught me off guard, but I'm taking it to Jesus, and quite happily admitting that I am but dust, and "God, how do I do this?!"

I'm more aware than ever of my frailty, meanness, and inability to do this job. I mean, I sin. I'm too harsh with one, then not faithful enough in discipline with the other. Then another gets her needs overlooked a bit because she's quiet and just doesn't demand attention.

What I'm learning, slowly, is this: God's love for me does not stop when I fail. How can I say this best...

There is a relieving joy in letting go of the belief that I am able to do walk out this calling on my own. There's even relief in admitting my sins and shortcomings (quickly) to Him and to those I offend. And there's so.much.grace. Forgiven. Forgiven. Forgiven. And because what Jesus endured and achieved out of love for me, I'm able to get back up after falling down...I can dust myself off and walk ahead in hope...the hope that He is transforming me; hope that Jesus has acted righteously in all things on my behalf, and especially the hope that God will accomplish His purposes in me and through me, for His glory, in spite of me. That's just the blessing of His gracing humanity with the opportunity to serve and know Him. He doesn't need us, but chooses to use us anyway!

I pray you can enjoy His grace more fully with each passing day...

The Mercy of Friends and Happy Memories {+ Edit}

2012-01-10T23:27:00.001-06:00

We made it back! My goodness, we've been home a week now! After 14 hours of driving, it's always enough to just unload our Clampett-style overloaded Suburban.

Many hands do make light labor (and, conversely, many hands also make many messes), and with everyone pitching in, we managed to unpack, sort all the Christmas loot from Back Home, undecorate the house, pack all that away, AND do a necessary regular tidying after all that - by Sunday night. Whew. And sigh. I'm glad for the fresh start of a new year.

But, first, a quick look back at a favorite memory from Christmas 2012: dinner and carols with Mrs. M's family, including her parents, in from Virginia....

Even though Mrs. M and I have been friends for almost 5 years, I'd never had the treat of hearing her play the piano! CA was obviously mesmerized.

MK getting a few piano basics...

Carol of the Bells is a family favorite at our house. This arrangement was really pretty...

CA just made herself at home on the piano bench. At one point, she asked Mrs. M to slide over so she could have more room to "play."

My very favorite memory from this part of the evening: CA climbed on Mrs. M's lap and wanted to sing (by herself!) God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. So, she launched into her semi-shouting rendition of the song, slowed down only by the need to, ahem, investigate the inside of her nose. She belted out a few lines, with her own unique time and meter, with Mrs. M trying to keep up on the piano, arms around CA. Then, CA misprounounced something in the song (I think she said power too quickly for her own taste...should've been pow-ah.) This necessitated starting over, which singer and accompanist did, and this time, CA sang the whole first verse with no trouble or interruption - except for the long, giant yawn that punctuated the first half, while Mrs. M waited to play the next note. Oh, it was so, so funny and sweet. We got a couple of videos, thankfully!

As is always the case when all eight of us are involved in something, there's at least a little (or maybe a lot) of chaos. CJ added her own improv to the carols...

It took two shots, but here are all of us, except our photographer, of course...and oh, wait, I don't see CA...she was probably getting underfoot as BB tried to take pictures!

I'm thanking God for the blessing of such precious friendships and happy memories. Also, Thank you to Mrs. M for having us!

And a good time was had by all....

Heading Back

2012-01-02T23:53:00.000-06:00

I hope you have had just that: Happy Holidays! I loved the cheerful randomness of this photo - it's LC in her Christmas socks, feet on her schooldesk during a grammar lesson, cheesestick on the ready. Ha!

I've been non-existent here because we've been away from home since Christmas day. We've had a long, rambling visit Back Home and will return to Texas on Wednesday.

God's allowed us to visit with more family and friends on this trip than ever before, I think. It's been a true blessing, filled with many, many rich conversations. We've all made countless special memories. My girls got to spend so much quality time with their cousins and other family members.

I am so thankful for God's providence, the way He's worked out our schedule here so that we could have good face-time (real faces, not the kind you do with an iPhone!) with loved ones, some of whom we really only see once a year or less frequently. I am thankful, and I'm exhausted! The trip home to Texas will be long, but it'll be good to return to our house and beds and the routine that work and school bring to our daily lives.

Conversations here have me looking back at the past year and feeling very encouraged by the work God is doing at our house, in our hearts. We have fallen and failed and sinned and done poorly at many things, but I also see the heavy grace for which I've prayed so earnestly...I'm seeing ways that God has guided us in our thinking and parenting that can only be Him. Praise be to God for His help and wisdom.

I am looking at 2012 with hopeful anticipation for all that the Lord is going to do. I remember the verse: being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

I am confident then, of several things:

1) Jesus definitely began many, many good works this past year in me and in the hearts of my husband and children, in our family as a whole...

2) Jesus will bring those good works to completion!

3) Emmanuel, Who was with me in 2011, is with me and will be with me in 2012

We'll be leaving Home filled to overflowing by the love of family and friends here. We are rich, indeed!

A Tour of the Vintage Tree

2011-12-23T10:43:00.000-06:00

A year or two ago, after our Back-Home-Christmas visit, my mom sent me back to Texas with a tub of holiday stuff. Included: a vintage aluminum Christmas tree she'd bought at a yard sale, and my grandmother's ornaments.

I don't remember a lot about decorating for last Christmas - it just seems like we got overwhelmed and put a lot of our stuff back in the garage. At that time, the adoption was still not 100% certain. I think the strain dampened our motivation to fill the house with cheer. This year, we've been all about making sure AH has a special first Christmas celebration as a member of our family. We pulled out all the stuff for 2011, including the aluminum tree and my grandmom's ornaments.

And I'm so glad we did. It has created a festive feeling in our home at a time when there's some heavy-heartedness.

I have to say that setting up the vintage tree is one of my top favorite memories of this Christmas season, though. After we did the bulk of the "big" decorating, such as the real tree and lights in the windows (thank you Mr. Christmas Cheer, BB!), there was a lot of this and that sitting around in tubs and boxes.

One night while BB was away and the children were already in bed, I started picking through the tub from my mom. We'd started putting branches into the aluminum tree, so I finished that, in the quiet all by myself. Then, I began looking through the ornaments. Ah, memory lane, to say the least.

I carried a few ornaments at a time from the kitchen to the table in what I guess you'd call our formal dining room, though of course we do nothing akin to formal dining, ever. And, the room is devoid of furniture, save that table. Anyway, it is the first room you see as you enter our home. Seemed like it would be fun to have a sparkly tree there. It's kind of stepping out for me, this having more than one tree!

As I examined the ornaments and put hooks on them, I recalled all the Christmases when I went over to my Grandmom's little two-bedroom house Back Home and decorated it for her. I don't know how it became tradition, but from a rather young age, definitely before I was a teenager, she let me set a ladder up, pull her stuff from the attic, then make executive decisions on what would go where that year.

It was a sweet time, and made me feel really special and important, of course.

All the ornaments in these close-ups were hers. She kept them in their original, ancient, ratty old boxes. They are Shiny Brite ornaments from the 1930's and 40's. It was always fun to make the tree pretty with them and hear her approve of my choices.

I am so glad mom gave me these things. And I'm grateful to Jesus for the special, quiet moments I had assembling this little tree and enjoying happy memories from times with Grandmom. It was truly a delight this Christmas season.

Seeing the silver tree with its sweet old ornaments each day has made me smile. When I had finished decorating it there on the dining room table, I decided the whole set up was not safe. There are a dozen busy, happy, exploring, energetic hands in this house, you know, and things happen. So I dragged that big ole heavy table to a corner, away from its usual central spot.

And then, little Providences...because what's better than a vintage silver aluminum tree, all twinkling with colorful, aged ornaments? Well, what's better is when all that happy sparkle sits in the one downstairs location that gets an hour or two of strong morning sunlight.

These photos are from my second or third time of passing the tree during sunshine-time. Yesterday, I finally figured out the right angle and such to get most of them in good light for pictures. Sigh. What a satisfying and happy thing. The sun just makes the whole thing pop, for lack of a better description.

We've been without my Grandmom for four years now. I miss her, but am glad for the warm Christmas memories we made together, and for the ways she built me up by letting me help like she did. Note to self: build my own babies up the same way.

My second favorite memory so far this year was just night before last, wrapping the girls' gifts with BB while we watched It's a Wonderful Life, and being reminded of just how wonderful life really is, with all its God-ordained joys and bumps and bruises and happy surprises and confusion. On top of the sweet time with BB, when I went out to unplug our Christmas lights, there were gifts on our front porch!

One of my wonderful young friends had stopped by and secretly left some very thoughtful goodies. A joy to my heart! I went to bed thankful and encouraged, and I'm grateful to God for His tender mercies and kindness.

This year, as we celebrate Advent, I think I am most aware of Jesus' humility and obedience. I am thankful for all He gave up to come here and live among sinful mankind. I marvel at His submission to God's plan, at His unselfishness, at all He took for me - the pain, the accusations, betrayal, abandonment, abuse, and death - for me, the punishment I deserve. He is so good.

We are still calling on Him for His mercy, help, and favor as we seek to focus our family toward a more Christ-centered, orderly family life. He is faithful. It's been a tough year in a lot of ways and I've struggled with negative emotions and thoughts about my mothering and our family life in the past months. But again, Jesus is my Answer. This week, as I did my Esther Bible study (a Beth Moore study I'm doing with Mrs. M), God gave me this immensely encouraging quote, drawn from a discussion on perfectionism:

"...sometimes just surviving certain tasks without falling apart is our best and in those times God is not ashamed of our performance. He's proud of us for fighting overwhelming human emotions to do His will. God isn't interested in our stellar performance, but in our hearts. He loves our willingness and obedience despite our circumstances." -Beth Moore

The quote makes me think of this scripture:

Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers. Hebrews 2:11

(How amazing is that? I can't quite take that in...not ashamed to call me His own sibling?!)

A Merry, Merry Christmas to you all! God bless you in the coming year with the joy of more intimate fellowship with Himself...with a growing faith and hunger for Him and His Word.
*

LC's Perspective

2011-12-14T18:40:00.000-06:00

LC occasionally asks to use my camera, then takes off around the house, documenting life as she sees it....

Here are her recent shots. Most are at the end of the post, after today's mercy list.

Mercies 1157-1167:

hearing Baby's footsteps behind me as she followed me into the garage

reading Caps for Sale to Baby, who's not had much patience with book-reading thus far...but she did today, and it was a sweet moment

rain, more rain

holding AH in her sadness

bb holding me in my sadness

sibling ugliness

sibling ugliness that turned into a wonderful, healing, family-bonding moment for AH and her sisters

washing dishes with AH

slow, mostly unscheduled days (ie, no school to do!) in which to try out some of the new habits and routines we are working to establish

long talk with my dear, dear friend while we shared a box of chocolate-dipped gingerbread men - healing conversation

Christmas parties -it's the thing around here:
1-AH prepared a family craft time and we made little decorations
2-EG planned a Christmas tree drawing contest, Christmas tree shaped sandwiches, and more
3-CA imitated her big sibs - I helped her make plates of snack + gingerbread men and coloring pages for all, ending up the "party" with our singing Away in a Manger
*

Filling the bird feeder

Gingerbread man coloring craft from MaMa

Toys with many happy parts

Self-portrait of LC's feet at my schooldesk

Stuffed-friend arrangement

Closet shared by three, including LC

Little Steps

2011-12-11T23:43:00.005-06:00

Matthew 19:26

....but with God all things are possible...

I hope you've had a happy weekend and a restful Sunday and that Monday finds you ready to face the week!

Every year, (except last year - too cold and windy with an infant in tow) since we moved to Texas, we've taken a drive during the first weeks of December to a tiny town nearby in order to visit their amazing Bethlehem reenactment. It's about the size of a city block and is complete with permanent structures like an inn, a jail, merchants' stores, Roman soldiers, live animals, and many people milling around as travelers come to Bethlehem to pay taxes. There are shepherds running about, shouting the News they've heard from the angels, and at the very end of the crowded chaos of Bethlehem, is a quiet cave...always the highlight of our time spent there, because it reminds us of Jesus and His quiet, humble, nearly-anonymous advent here to our sin-riddled planet...

So this year, AH got to join in this family tradition, which made it really special.

And, we had the unplanned blessing of touring Bethlehem with dear friends. We both knew the other was going Friday night, but we arrived at the same time and ended up enjoying each others' company while there!

The above photo, however, is from another special evening: we took the big five to see A Christmas Carol Musical at a local theatre. What a treat!

I'm super thankful to the Lord for a special meeting BB and I had today, in which we took our ideas and thoughts about the changes needed in our family ways, and made some black and white, serious, on-paper, covered in prayer PLANS for progress.

Tonight, I sit here with the coming week's meals all written out on a special calendar. I've got a grocery list to accommodate those meals. I intend to repeat this meal plan for a few weeks until I feel confident with this more organized method. Then I'll branch out and get more creative with our meal choices. This is training wheels, and I'm a-ok with that.

We also got some things on a shared online planning calendar in order to cope better with housework, laundry, and so on. This should also help us be more abreast of each others' commitments, such as haircuts or kids' parties to attend.

Praise God for helping us to communicate and take steps in the right direction! And, oh my goodness, pray for us. We need some big grace to stick to the plan! And to recognize what needs tweaking along the way!

How was your weekend? What Christmas-y things have you been doing with your family? Anything "impossible" with which God is helping you and yours of late? (like hoisting your family up out of a lot of old habits that are no longer effective!)

Mercies This Day

2011-12-07T17:49:00.000-06:00

Mercies....

1143. We've had more rain.

1144. Painful, necessary discussions with AH

1145. Beautiful, rare combination of events: EG off to play with a sweet friend; AH enjoying her first special playtime here with a new friend; LC, MK, CA off to see Lion King with Miss C (who was my right hand gal over the summer). Just so thankful to the Lord for working out these little engagements for each of the girls today. Only He could've worked it out this way.

1146. That I bought two little individual pods of homemade hot chocolate mix from a friend the other day, not knowing what I'd do with them (two little 5th graders are drinking them now as a part of their "hot chocolate party," here in this unusually quiet house)

1147. the house is unusually quiet. My heart just about bursts because this is such a perfect thing for AH (and the others who are out having an awesome time)

1148. budding friendships for the girls

1149. a month-long Christmas break

1150. online Christmas shopping

1151. coats and scarves today

1152. nice desk with attached chair from the school district surplus sale: $2.50

1153. a band uniform (from the surplus sale, too) - jacket and fancy helmet/hat: .50 total (Christmas gift, for the kids' dress up box)

1154. doorbell ringing because UPS has dropped a Christmas goodie on the porch (from the online shopping)

1155. Miss C loving on my girls, spoiling them at the movies

1156. Christmas lights in our window (seems like a step away from survival mode and I find that very cheering!)

Funny

2011-12-05T07:11:00.001-06:00

I give you my own personal Create-A-Silly-Face Baby Doll:

CJ lets me do the craziest things with her face, then she looks around the room to see who's looking and laughing. She loves it!

Can you guess the artist on this one? This was after a history lesson several weeks ago. She drew Ignatius Loyola and Francis Xavier, who founded The Society of Jesus, or the Jesuit Order.

I cannot not laugh every single time I see this picture (or when she makes the face in real life). Snapped this one with my phone at the dinner table.

Another guess who here...which daughter took it upon herself to label Baby's cup? She did this because CJ toddles around with her sippy, drops it on the floor, hides in the closet, or what have you, then we can't find it come mealtime. Then two days later we do find it, but no one can remember if it's today's cup or not...

I'm up to my ears, as they say! $69.25 in debt to the little people in my home! This is after many, many weeks (months, even) of their doing extra work around here to earn money. Since I cannot be trusted to remember what all they do, nor to have quarters and one dollar bills on hand with which to pay them immediately, we keep IOU's - a running tally of dates and amounts earned. They were eager to get each other Christmas presents and to purchase something from the Samaritan's Purse Christmas Catalog, so they've worked a lot to finance their gift-buying. As each girl decides on little gifts for others, we just cross the amount spent off her IOU. Ah, simplicity. They've been doing jobs like running a load of laundry from start to finish: washer, dryer, fold/hang up, put away! Nice! It means the girls are learning homemaking skills and that hard work is part of life and blessing the family, all at once.

We are in our last week of school for this semester. It is hard to believe that we are halfway through this school year. The girls will be out of school for a month. We are all ready for the long break, and starting to look forward to our big road trip Back Home!

We are enjoying our Advent devotionals as a family with this simple, uncomplicated study (a very light study, appropriate for a pretty wide age range - we are all doing it daily, then discussing it around our lit Advent candles later on).

What's making your Christmas season special this year?

Oh, and any guesses on who drew Loyola? And who labeled the sippy cup? (I do love the kids' individuality - so fun, so funny...)

An Enchanted Thanksgiving

2011-11-28T07:11:00.000-06:00

God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing...

Psalm 68:6

For Thanksgiving, our family took a little trip to Enchanted Rock State Natural Area in Fredericksburg, Texas. We had a tasty, windy picnic up top of the Rock.

The two best things about our Thanksgiving celebration:

1. It was wonderful to get outside as a family for the whole day, and the weather was absolutely perfect - high near 70 degrees and blue skies.

2. It was bringing AH even more deeply into our family. We've been to Enchanted Rock as a family many, many times. AH had never been there. So, now, when we say, Oh yeah, remember that Thanksgiving when we hiked Enchanted Rock, and that tight spot we all found ourselves in when we were exploring the little caves? The spot where mom was down in a hole with a crying 4 year old and a screaming 1 year old, all the backpacks and a cell phone that had spontaneously started playing Josh Groban's The Little Drummer Boy?

From now on, AH has a connection to our shared memories of Enchanted Rock, as well as the specific, special memories of our unique Thanksgiving celebration this year.

It takes a lot of time, I'm learning, for a family to adjust to adoption. We are 10 months into the process, and have hit a more intense season again. It seems like some of the hard stuff is just now beginning to really seep out of AH's heart. I think that up until now, we've all been preoccupied with the logistics and more practical side of adjusting to being a family of 8 people...you know, learning each other - her learning our ways and habits and vice versa.

God has graced AH and I with some very significant conversations recently. These are a direct answer to prayer, Thanks be to God! Whenever my children's needs or personality stump me, I've turned to a passage in Daniel 2:

He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things; He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him. (v 21-22)

The hurts of the past are among those deep and hidden things...the things that lie in darkness. Little by little, I am beginning to understand the depth and severity of the loneliness AH has known most of her little life, and the toll it has taken on her heart and mind.

Being able to grasp these things gives me an enormous advantage as I (we) work to love AH well and meet her needs. First we have to understand her needs. It's a long, slow, really painful process sometimes. But I am confident that Jesus will heal her hurts, and so thankful that we get to be part of that healing, God help us.

I've never struggled more with mommy guilt than I have in the past year. So many hard decisions - Is this best for her? Is that best for her? Will it hurt her or help her if I deal with her that way? And then, naturally, How does this affect everyone else? What do the others need?

I've never been so aware of my fallenness and weakness as a parent - and my desperate need for heavy grace from the throne of God!

This would be the entrance to the hole in which I was stuck with the screamin' littles and Josh Groban singing his Christmasy heart out

Coming Up For Air

2011-11-21T08:22:00.000-06:00

Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;

wisdom and power are his.

He changes times and seasons.

Daniel 2: 20-21

Well. A few months ago, I wrote about how BB and I sensed that God was ready to move us out the chaotic survival mode we've lived for so long. But then, it didn't happen. School started and now, three months later, I found myself in a place of saying I can't do this anymore! I would wonder when the school day went way, way long if we were really doing the right thing. Or had academics become a god of sorts in our family priorities - something we (I!) were willing to spend massive amounts of time completing each week?

The blessing here is that BB and I kind of had the Aha! Moment at the same time. Providence, that! I could ramble about the particulars of our daily messes and imbalance, all the stuff that got me to the frazzled, kind of confused place of I can't do this anymore, but I won't.

What I will say is that God is faithfully taking care of me and my family. When BB and I had our combined Aha! Moment, it opened up some of the clearest and most fruitful communication we've had in a long time about schooling and our family ways and priorities and the reality of the way things are right now. We were able to get away to The Starbucks That Stays Open Until 11PM (my favorite one) and really hash things out, looking for new and better strategies (thanks to N, who offered impromptu and free babysitting that night!). I told him exactly how things are each homeschool day. He pondered what I said and then offered many practical suggestions. The main result of that discussion was a plan to trim the fat, so to speak, from our morning routines so that we could start school far earlier. Many days we were not starting until after 10am. Not good, with four to educate and two to chase!

Also, he suggested I re-implement our former routine of a fixed breakfast schedule, so that the kitchen and the people in it are not a giant mad house of half-a-dozen short-order chefs zipping around, each preparing a separate breakfast. So, for the past couple of weeks, it's been honey-cinnamon oatmeal on homeschool days, and then I plan to make our two at-school days have a set menu as well: granola and yogurt for one day and all-kinds-of toast for the other day (you know, cheese toast, buttered toast, peanut butter toast, jelly toast, or all of the above...whatever will fill you up...gotta buy another toaster, for real, before I set that plan in motion!).

So, that was a big relief. And I was praying, asking God to show us how to make changes, and what changes to make. The next thing I did was contact the girls' school administrator to let her know we were officially drowning. Wow, what a mercy that conversation turned out to be! We met very soon after I'd emailed her, and we talked for over two hours, while CJ destroyed the preschool room there at the school and CA got to join in the preschool class. She was over the moon about that and still refers to it as her class and her teacher. Sweet. But what a blessing it was, again, to open up my day to someone else and in doing so, I no longer felt alone regarding school. I needed that other set of eyes examining my ways. Oh, that has always been a hard thing for me. But it was just time. The administrator offered a lot of suggestions and was able to confirm that the average amount of time we were spending on the different subjects per child and in our group work was very average and good. She was so kind and helpful.

The lessons learned from that discussion? We were in desperate need of boundaries. Y'all, I did not have an ending time for school. We just did it until it was done, and sometimes that was late! She encouraged me to definitely strive to start earlier and to set an ending time, at which point all books are closed, no more work to be done. Mama's brain gets a break and the kids get to let their hair down. Wow, what a difference this one change is making in my state of mind! Can you hear my sigh of relief from out there, wherever you are?!

Setting start and stop times helped me almost right away to put academics back in their proper place in my heart and in my day. We need to rest and play as a family, and I need a stop, a breather for my brain, after a day of hitting the books with the kids. And no, academics are not a god and I can say no when it's time for us to stop. This way I can start supper at a reasonable hour and not feel quite so rushed from this thing to the next, which, of course, makes me a better wife and mom.

All this has made me see that I've not been very open to advice or wisdom regarding many things. Realizing this is pretty humbling. But I am glad. It's a relief to lay it all out, and there have been even more conversations with more people in recent days, and I am learning to listen better, tuck away those good ideas, and then try them. I'm also recognizing a damaging tendency in myself to insist on doing everything myself. Ah, the ever-present process of understanding oneself, then looking to Jesus for transformation....

I also see that I, that we as a family, need to become more disciplined in many areas in order that we might enjoy more downtime and hopefully more serving Jesus time, as well.

I'm realizing that I've been hand-holding too much with my oldest three kids, so we've done a little experimentation, with me not reminding them constantly to stay focused, keep following their assignments sheets, use their time wisely, and so on. Yikes, that was a hard one for all. A bit of reality discipline, you could say. It's me learning not to do so much for them and them stepping out in responsibility and hard work.

And as I mentioned before, I am praying, talking to God each day, asking Him to show me how to do this differently. As we stumble up out of an old and (I think) outdated way of facing life, I am seeing some light. For example, just setting the start-and-stop times, putting more personal responsibility on my big kids, and running a tighter ship on homeschool days has already helped me to see that I was walking in a deep fog - the fog of long-term survival mode living, where most choices made are reactionary instead of intentional.

God ordains seasons of chaos and disorder. I am fully convinced of this. Times of rapid change come with craziness most of the time (giving birth, adopting, homeschooling, adjusting to being a family of 6 kids...whew!). But as we seek to glorify God in our personal and family living, I believe He has a new way for us.

To be honest, I vacillate many days (sometimes even hour to hour) between discouragement and hope. This really is and will be an uphill battle in a lot of ways. Even when I feel sad, I truly do see His faithfulness and I am trying to give wholehearted thanks for the stumbly, often setback-riddled days of late, as well as for the surges of improvement. Really, so much needs a total overhaul - all the way from small personal habit changes to family culture changes, to deep heart and character work. But He is able to do above and beyond all I ask or imagine, isn't He?!

It's a soul-sigh blessing that the girls are on their long Thanksgiving break right now - 10 whole days with almost no homework. This is giving us a much-needed break. Right now we're all fighting pretty draining colds, but when we have a burst of energy, we are working child by child on getting summer clothes out of their rooms (well, most of them...it was 81 degrees yesterday - gotta keep some shorts in there year 'round). I also hope to make a stab at some general purging of junk from the house whilst we weed out clothing, but we'll see.

So, please pardon me these days while my thinking is a bit muddled and we are prayerfully striving to rearrange priorities, create new habits, design wiser boundaries, and hopefully bring glory to the Savior in it all, by His grace. One thing I'd love, as time goes by, is to post more frequently and more thoughtfully, God willing.
*
Mercies:

1131. Filling up the bird feeder with CA yesterday, and anticipating the happy, energetic creatures who will come to it soon

1132. Saying Yes to AH yesterday, when she wanted to take a walk

1133. Pansies in the front flower bed - how long has it been since we planted flowers there?

1134. That BB planted the leftover pansies for me in my kitchen window flower box

1135. Friends and family who are offering such good, wise, and helpful advice - thank you.

1136. A new Bible study: Esther

1137. Those low, dramatic gray clouds even though they dropped no rain

1138. A little nap today for BB and me (we tag team it...one sleeps, then the other, when we're both tired enough to need a nap, which is almost always, haha!)

1139. Him home safely again from a business trip

1140. The places God has allowed me to visit; beauties He's allowed me to see; flavors He's allowed me to taste

1141. Advent season coming

1142. Our first Advent season with AH here
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photos: November roses at our favorite cafe, and CA in her appropriately worded thrifted t-shirt

And if you've read this far...well, thanks! You're a superstar. That's a lot of words up there, all that thinking out loud. I am thankful for you, that you've stopped in here. God bless you today. I've prayed for you...

The Rest of the State Fair

2011-11-15T00:19:00.002-06:00

More State Fair photos...

I never, ever paint my fingernails, but I figured a trip to the Texas State Fair warranted some festive color. I didn't even realize it coordinated with the matchy shirts mom got the girls to wear that day. Fun.

So much happy energy!

Chevrolet always has a big area for showing off their vehicles and such. They're known to give out some pretty nice goodies, too, such as backpacks an ball caps. However, much to my dad's obvious disappointment, the take-away this year was this water-thingy that looks suspiciously like an IV bag. Bummer.

The obligatory mom's-walking-behind-us-all-with-the-camera shot. I've got scads of this kind of shot...but I still have to take it. All of them with their daddy. Sweet.

I liked this one because

a) I'd just had great screamin' fun with the girls and

b) It makes me feel a little bit young and hip (haha!)

Look! I was playing "Fun Parent for a Day!" I (only half) jokingly tell the girls from time to time that I'm just not the fun parent in our family. I'm the teaching-training-love 'em-keep 'em-in-line parent. Anyway, got to be lotsa fun on Fair day! This was CA's first "roller coaster." Her response to the first seconds of the ride? She called out "FASTER!!" That's my thrill-seeking girl.

The Fun Parent and some fellow thrill-seekers. This ride looks dinky, but it's actually a bit breath-taking in a few places. Super fun.

Thrill sought. Thrill found!

Mom and CA had a special ride on the carousel, just the two of them.

See that skinny-armed death grip I've got on the roller coaster? Cracking me up! That coaster was small, but fast and intense!

CJ's best fun of the day was the quiet, shady spot we found for lunch: she got out of the stroller and into the dirt! Don't we all love chubby baby feet crammed into too-small shoes?

All tuckered out, as they say...

She woke up quite refreshed and raring to go, of course.

Can you feel the enthusiasm? The big girls and I were watching a policeman demonstrate tricks with a trained horse. BB told me later that he was thinking Why in the world are we standing here? Guess the horse wasn't as interesting to him as it was to me...

Scariest ride of the day for me! Turned out to be just thrilling and fun. The kids were amazed. Hooray for dad for getting such an awesome shot!

CJ gets a ride with PaPa: flying baby!

CJ and PaPa were watching this: BB and CA were at the top of the slide about to come down at lightning speed. For real.

Yessiree, we have Texas-shaped waffles here, my friends. Texans HEART Texas. Is that absolutely clear yet?

We were able to have a good breakfast at the hotel before leaving the next day, so that was a blessing!

And a good time was had by all...

Unfortunately, we did not think to get a group shot AT the Fair, and unfortunately, the normal photo of all of us wasn't a keeper, so here is the silly-face-pants-pulled-up-way-high version. It really was a special trip, a real mini-vacation.

Thanks, mom and dad!

And thank You, Lord, for precious family, precious memories...

The Blessed Mundane

2011-11-07T14:32:00.000-06:00

I need to have this photo enlarged and placed in a prominent location here at home, because I don't think anyone could feel sad for long once they glanced at her, do you? All that happy, all that sunshine...

One afternoon recently, it was so mild and beautiful outside that some of us wandered out there in the evening before supper. Three of the girls were occupied inside with some game of pretending, and BB and I were in the back yard with the other three.

CJ adores being outside, so she was happy to do her toddler-wandering thing while the rest of us played and enjoyed the sunshine. What a ham she is, and quite the performer, making faces and being silly just to get everyone to laugh.

When EG needs and wants a bit of quality, one-on-one with mom or dad, she usually wants to play a game of some sort, so that day we played Uno on the dying grass, constantly defending our piles of cards from Destroyer-Baby. Oh, my, I have never wanted to put child locks on everything before. But CJ takes open-and-dump-out-contents to a whole new level. What an explorer!!

CA was hollering at BB to slow down, so she could catch up and "win" their little soccer game (played with yet another of our lame balls...a poorly inflated old volleyball...update: we do possess a real football now, thanks to my mom!). It was fun to watch BB play with CA as he ran with her, then spun her around in the air, scare-the-mama style.

Yesterday afternoon was an appropriately restful Sabbath around here. I got a nap and then spent time writing our two Compassion International "sons" in Rwanda. I hand-wrote one letter, very sadly overdue. It was a reply to one of the boy's letters to us. Then I jumped on Compassion's website to check out their new set-up for emailing sponsored children. They've made all kinds of options available, including fun templates and the option of adding photos. I really wanted to attach the above picture, since both of our boys love soccer. In the end, I used a photo of all the girls together, but I'm still so happy about the improved options and user-friendliness of Compassion's site. (When you choose to email, it's basically one-way communication, as the kids don't have access to computers and the internet, but it's a wonderful way to dash off notes of encouragement to your sponsored children!).

I'm that crazy lady at the grocery store, snapping photos of her kids in the cart. Sometimes it's just neat to look back and remember what things were like, so I haul the camera with me to odd places at times.

The easiest time for me to do errands and shopping is right after I drop the big 4 off at school on Monday or Wednesday, so the little 2 end up going here and there with me during those schooldays.

Well, this would be one way to avoid a bit of the shocked conversation we get while out with all 6 girls: keep dressing CJ in this rather unisex Longhorns attire...of course, I was not with all six that day, but still...What a sweet little boy! And are you the big sister? Smile.

If you squint, I think you can make out the toenails on those itty bitty toes on that fat little foot!

For the amount of time that CA is willing to ride contentedly in the grocery cart, she takes it upon herself to organize it for me. Whew. I was hoping someone would! Wink. And, when your store puts out in-store coupons on their brand of toothbrushes and toothpaste, run with it! I think the toothbrushes came out to .25 each and they're the nifty kind that stand on their own.

Now that we've reviewed the mundane, blessed events of one day in October, I thought I'd add this from last week, courtesy of LC, 7 years old, 2nd grade. She has to write a six-sentence-minimum journal entry once a week for school. I help her get thinking and encourage her to the next sentence, challenging her to notice spelling and such. This last time, she asked me, and I quote, Can I just write about random stuff? (a bit old, that kind of talk, coming from her, it seemed...)

Well, of course you can write about random stuff. Journals are for anything and everything!

And here, I quote again. I left in the mistakes I could remember, because I think kids' spelling and expression at this age are so endearing:

I do school at home.

It is boring.

Today I am going to the bred-Store.

I do not like doing spelling.

I like to play with CJ. aNd all of my sisters to.

Just thought that if anyone was on the fence out there about homeschooling, this might give you a little nudge, though I'm not quite sure in which direction...(and, we won't point out to anyone that this is really 5 sentences, will we?)

Does This Bomb Go Off at Your House, Too?

2011-11-03T07:13:00.000-05:00

We had an oddly busy weekend. Parts of it I can't even remember! We zoomed through Friday, Saturday, and even Sunday, which means that come Monday morning, we were scrambling a bit. After I took the big four girls to school, this is the table that awaited me at home. And believe me, this was only the tip of the messy iceberg in the kitchen. I am looking at that table photo and thinking, That's a lotta life right there. The kitchen table wasn't clean and clear when we sat down to breakfast that morning. Add food, yesterday's crafts, breakfast Bible reading, last minute rulers-of-England review, and mama checking someone's math one last time...yep, the bomb definitely went off. And it does quite frequently. Well, daily, to be truthful.

I didn't notice what was front and center until after I took the photo, and then I was glad for all that it means, especially there in the middle of the dump that is our post-breakfast condition...

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

God is truly, deeply educating me on what grace really is - grace that leads to salvation and the continued grace that carries a Christ-follower through every day, every hour.

Here you can see more of the detonated-kitchen-bomb damage. I'd like to point out the giant bowl of mud there in the photo above. Yes sir, a big ole bowl of mud. I'll explain that later.

This is the island from the other direction, with baby books, milk sitting out, CA's handwriting worksheets, a cross made by one of the girls over the weekend, and the remnants of hurriedly-prepared school lunches. I really don't want to forget some of these realities...the messes and the chaos...so I do take pictures of it all sometimes. These are signs of life and love.

While overwhelming at first, it felt good to tackle the kitchen little by little, restoring order, making it so I could breathe again in there. I always tell the kids that when everything is put back in its place, for however short a time that may last, I can just breathe a little better. Contented sigh.

And here are a few photos from the Reformation Day party we enjoyed with friends on Sunday. Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the church in Wittenburg, Germany on October 31, 1517, which is considered to have set the Protestant Reformation in motion. We'd never done anything like this, but it was fun! It's a blessing that we've been studying the Renaissance, Luther, and the Reformation lately. The girls really understood what the Reformation was all about. They acted in a little play. The four big ones all played peasants.

They did a great job. We had fun getting dressed up for the night. The big girls manned our "Pottery Shop" booth (EG, reading over my shoulder, says that it should say that the girls womaned our pottery shop). Other families had booths too, including an Herb Shop, an archery practice booth, and one where they could learn a bit about illuminated manuscripts. There were other fun booths as well.

MK was really into her peasant character. See that dirty face? Remember the bowl of mud? Yes, we smeared all of them here and there with mud from the back yard. I hope MK has more opportunities to act in the future - she unfolds in a special way when given the chance to dress up and play a part. She looks so pretty here, doesn't she?

CA played a waitress in the little play that night. I got her dress at the thrift store and BB made her hat. She was waiting in line to make an herb sachet.

I just really liked this photo of AH. Beautiful. She and LC were running the Pottery Shop booth. All the kids had fun playing with clay.

I am so thankful for the kind friends God has given us. It was a blessing to fellowship and live out some history with them at the Reformation Party!
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As I sat here this morning, talking to the Lord and reading the Word and (truly) fighting sleepiness, I had a thought...

While I do always want to grow in my commitment to disciplined prayer - and believe me, I need to...I am so thankful for this: When it comes to prayer, I have all day! I am really comforted to look out into what is often a long, challenging day and remember that He is with me, and I can choose to live in His presence, and I can and will be talking to Him all day! I have all day to be with Him! All day to turn to Him in praise, prayer, worship....not that I always do, but I am learning to think this way and it is good indeed. I am constantly asking for His help!

I hope you have a good Thursday, comforted by His presence and the freedom and privilege to go to Him confidently at all times today.

The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace. Psalm 29:11

Somewhat Forbidden Fruit

2011-10-29T23:26:00.000-05:00

I am so thankful for the laughter and smiles God sends our way through our little ones. Sixth children have a tendency (methinks) to get into more colorful and interesting situations than their birth-order predecessors. It has something to do with the fact that one (that would be me, the mom) is not watching said sixth child like a hawk like she might've the earlier borns.

So Dimple Wimple spied a bag of apples on the kitchen table, dragged them down, hauled them into the living room, and set to work on her prize. This was all forbidden, of course. In my mind. Before that day, I had not turned her loose with apples or hard, chunky foods. And then there's the fact that the apples weren't washed. Oh, and the plastic bag. Not recommended as a playtoy. Sigh.

I found her when she was on apple #3, I think. She'd taken tiny dime-sized bites from each, put down the bitten apple, and reached for a new one. In the words of her fan club here at the house, she was So adorable!

I think she eventually bit into about five apples. I made the big girls eat them, all except the one I allowed CJ to keep and enjoy.

I love the intense concentration and fierce grip she's got going on!

So, there you are! Her first apple experience, documented. So sweet.

Texas State Fair

2011-10-24T13:19:00.003-05:00

Months and months ago, my mom and dad told us they'd like for all of us to go to the State Fair together. We did this, all of us, three years ago, when CA was a toddler. Now, we've done it again, with CJ a toddler and with AH as our daughter (her first time at the Fair).

Here are a few of my favorite shots - all night ones, and certainly not perfect - that would've entailed using a tripod and who's going to take time for that at such an exciting place?!

Texans are insanely proud of their state and it shows everywhere, especially at the Fair. As a side note, do you know what the root of all this extra-big state pride is? It comes from the fact that for 10 years (1836-1846) Texas was its own country, independent of both Mexico and the United States. It was the Republic of Texas. So there's your history lesson for today.

So, the ferris wheel is called the Texas Star. Since Texans kind of find a way to brag about almost everything, here's the boast regarding the Ferris wheel: it's the tallest one in the Western hemisphere. But enough of all that. We'd enjoyed an exciting day of rides, sights, and treats that day, but we were saving the Ferris wheel ride for nighttime. Good thing. Seeing Dallas and the Fairgrounds lit up at night was so exciting.

Dallas skyline - a wobbly shot, but still all twinkly and pretty

Oh, yeah, they were as nervous as they look in the photo! The Star is a really tall Ferris wheel, after all (see bragging rights above, haha), and there's something unnerving, I'll admit, about moving slowly way up high! These two were hanging on in white-knuckled terror...this, after riding some pretty intense coasters and such throughout the day.

One last special treat: the State Fair is known for its fried food. I know, I know, nasty for the body. But each year, they churn out several new, weird fried items (fried Coke, fried Poptarts, and oh, I can't even list all the possibilities). I wanted to try fried Coke, but couldn't find the stand selling it when it was time for us to leave. So, I (we) settled for - are you ready? We experimented with the fried Twinkies. Don't laugh. The kids and I polished off two of them. I was actually a bit disappointed - they didn't really taste like Twinkies. But it was fun to try it out! (That's my dad and MK in the background.)

I've been thinking about how rich our lives are. God has put us on an adventurous path, one that requires far more strength, wisdom, and flexibility than we'll ever possess. But the comfort, the relief is in seeing how He supplies our needs and how He sustains us through ups and downs and unpredictability and callings that are bigger than we are.

Tonight, we are so excited to welcome friends from Back Home. We have not seen F and J in person for many years, but have been in touch. They are preparing to go to Cameroon, Africa as missionaries connected with Bible translation work. We get to enjoy having them here overnight, and we have the privilege of hosting a get together in our home tonight, during which they'll share their story and ministry vision with our friends, and we'll all have some eats and treats. But no fried Twinkies. Just brownies from Costco!

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1126. the monarchs are passing through on their migration to Mexico...every time we are outside we see them fluttering by on their trek - lovely.

1127. two sweet emails within 24 hours, from bloggy girlfriends far away (sisters-in-law to one another, too...Abby and Ruth. What a blessing!)

1128. an interrupted, derailed nap...

1129. ...that resulted in some special time with my two littles...a walk outside, an extra book for CA, us working together a bit to prepare for our little gathering tonight (she carried china plates across the kitchen...me holding my breath! She did great!)

1130. laughs! CA's latest...

Mom, where are the donks?!*

To me, late in the morning: In fact, YOU are still in your pajamas. You need to get dressed!

The other morning, when she was ready to eat, but I had not pulled anything together for her yet: Mom, can I prepare my breakfast?

*On the way to school on Monday and Wednesday, we pass several ranches and acreages, one of which has donkeys, to whom we always shout hello. Today, we passed the donkey field before CA realized it and that's when she threw out her question, which is still cracking me up, even as I type...Where are the donks?!

Last Vegas Pics & What I Want to Remember From Yesterday

2011-10-19T17:35:00.003-05:00

A few last shots from my sabbatical in Las Vegas (is that an oxymoron?)...

There was a fabulous mall on the lower levels of our hotel. On one of the rainy days I walked and walked the mall area, window shopping. Those lovely ceilings'll throw you off. You know it's rainy outside, or perhaps it's dark out there, but it's perpetual daytime, springtime inside...kind of feels like the Twilight Zone. But in a pretty way. I sat by those railings for an hour or so one day and just drew...sketched the railings themselves.

The hotel had such a peaceful pool garden. I never swam, but on the sunny day, it was heavenly to sit on one of its many benches or chairs and read. Lots of very private and quiet spots, and obviously more statuary.

*
Yesterday was one of our long Tuesdays - super-full of homeschooling work.

We've had a bit of sadness pass through these past several days, and so there was a little heaviness as the day got started. As the day wore on, moods lifted, and the children worked really hard on their assignments. The baby took two naps. And I'm learning more and more the peace that comes from really staying in touch with God throughout the day.

I cannot always get a photo of special moments, and my journal-writing has been non-existent since Las Vegas - such a whirlwind since then! But I can freeze-frame a few memories here...

Like Baby's delicious white curls up in my face while she sits in my lap...and her delightful facial expressions...big eyed surprise, eyebrows as high as they go, wrinkled forehead...and the shrill thing she does that is byebye!

Like LC in my lap. She is 7, but has always been very tall for her age. Right now she's the size of a 9 year old. Yesterday, she got in my lap to do her timed reading for school, and she is just.so.sweet. She plays with my hair and it nearly puts me to sleep sometimes. She read this:

Tell me, O Octopus, I begs
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I'd call me Us.

Ogden Nash

And it's just wonderful to experience my LC reading, getting better at reading, and really working so hard in school. She is a very young 2nd grader and is doing so beautifully in her first year at school.

Like having the privilege of being AH's mom and teacher - yesterday we had a side lesson in character about working hard to understand the meaning of what we read, then putting it down accurately in writing. It was a great talk and I am happy to get to do this with her, for her. She, too, is in a whole new world academically, and is doing wonderfully.

Like holding EG late last night, before bed, like a little baby because the sad got to her, too...stroking her hair, because I always like that myself and thought she would, too...and her remembering she didn't finish some laundry started and me gladly telling her to forget about it.

Reading Chester to CA during the schoolday and hugging her a bit extra, even though she didn't want me to. And how she's suddenly able to pronunce "r!" I mean...all my kids have different processing speeds as far as learning is concerned. Hers is lightning fast. By far my youngest to have gotten "r's" right...and she's done this on her own. (From Monday: When we go to Costco, I let CA show the workers our card upon entering the store. Toward the end of the shopping trip, I couldn't find the card. I mumbled out loud about it to CA, who said, It's by the tv's, at the place where we came in. I was happily shocked to find it right there, on the box of a flat-screen tv. She'd laid it down there, and remembered exactly where - thanks be!)

MK, who has never liked to speak her emotions, but over time has been willing to write them...she composed a little note to the family, telling us we are such a blessing to her, and that she loves us very much...also, watching her misspell half of her new spelling words, then get them all right five minutes later. More of that processing speed thing. Way fast. I love their uniqueness.

Thank you, God, for all these mercies, for being very needed.
*
One last photo, just for fun, for the memories! This night we'd gotten to try a crazy-cool Peruvian-Bolivian Sushi fusion restaurant...

*
the sketch - and no, I very rarely sketch...but it was fun to do...really I've only done it on trips when there was a lot of downtime (which means a couple of times in the past few years)...I took a picture of it with my phone and texted it to BeBe, who was watching my girls. They are always drawing, so I thought it would be fun to show them that mom drew something, too!

Sunny Day in Las Vegas

2011-10-16T23:53:00.000-05:00

These are photos from my sunny-day walk in Las Vegas. I cannot remember what god this statue represents, but I thought it was beautiful, especially with the sun behind it and the water sparkling all around...

Look, there is flowering loveliness there, too...

I loved this statuary scene. It was near Caesar's Palace.

Behind those muscle-men, you can see some words engraved in the wall...one of the "words" was, I kid you not, "SHOPILIUS." What does that mean? Is it the god of shopping? Overspending? Gambling? Ha! Who knows. Probably a subconscious message to me that I should have been shopping...

Well, it's a tad tacky, the mirror-self portrait, but how else will I know down the road, when my memory's shot, that I really was in Las Vegas?

The hotel was quite grandiose, as I mentioned before, but some parts were truly breathtaking. If I ever do get to go to Italy, I will revel in seeing the work of the Renaissance masters...

*

We just said goodbye to my mom and dad yesterday. That's always hard. You just kind of need to grieve for a day or so, you know? I am thankful for all the wonderful visiting we squeezed in between, well, the craziness of everyday life here!

Lately, the ups and downs of family life and the struggles rooted in my sinful nature have me returning often to the Reality that Jesus is with me, with me, with me - in this moment, in that struggle, during this joy and that sorrow. It's a comfort to remember His presence and His promise: Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 (though He also says this in Deuteronomy 31:6,8 and Joshua 1:5, and probably other places!).

And weakness...I keep going back to the relieving place of recognizing, admitting, boasting in (gosh, that's so...contrary to my human habits) my inability to walk worthy of Him.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

I say it to the kids during correction, and I say it to myself in the process: Kids, when you see that you keep falling down, that you can't get it right, this Christ-life, just turn to Him and say so - Jesus, I can't do this! I am too weak and selfish, but I know You are perfectly strong and unselfish. How I need Your help and holiness! Call on Him, cry out for His grace....and He gives and gives.

I've been meaning to recommend this wonderful CD, Scripture Lullabies. Don't let the word lullaby fool you into thinking this is a baby CD and that you don't need it. Cause you do. These are the most calming, soothing, and beautifully done scripture songs I've ever heard. I turn this on during the witching hour in the evening, when everything's extra-chaotic and falling apart and I'm making supper and everyone's saying When are we eating supper? and the baby's clinging to my leg unhappily...and it gently jolts me back to Reality: Hey! He IS here! Jesus is here, and have some Truth while you're at it. I actually love it when these songs get stuck in my head...beautifully rendered scriptures cycling through my thoughts. Nothing better.

Safety First

2011-10-12T15:14:00.000-05:00

CA came and banged on the bathroom door, hollering out a most important question to me earlier today:

Mom! Can I play with the choking hazards?

But of course you can, my dear! Sometimes I just laugh and laugh over the unexpected and weird things I hear my children say. The question makes more sense if you know that the girls have 659 Littlest Pet Shop bits and pieces and that 131 of them are choking hazards that I keep in a ziplock bag out of Dimple Wimple's reach. They can play with those while Baby naps. Thank God for laughter!

Mom makes beauty: she used mostly things I already had to make this pretty fall arrangement on the front walk. She's always decorated so nicely for each holiday and season. Me, not so much. Thanks, mom! It looks great!

We are enjoying having my parents here since last Tuesday. We all went to the Texas State Fair last Thursday, which was a memorable blast, of course!

I can never blog even close to the speed of life, though I'd love to be able to. I will post the rest of Las Vegas in coming days.

For now, it's all about MaMa and PaPa being here. Today, PaPa detailed my....oven! He cleaned and cleaned. It's too clean to use now. Guess we'll just have to eat out tonight! Actually, that's the plan. Kind friends have offered to babysit so we can go on a double date with my mom and dad!

Mom morphs into the Laundry Fairy when she is here and also accomplishes a lot of little cleaning tasks for me. Such a blessing. It's nice just seeing their faces in the morning.

Saturday, they'll fly home and we'll look forward to seeing them again at Christmas.

The other day, I asked God to help me choose humility in a particular situation. I did not anticipate how thoroughly He'd deal with me on that subject! Within a couple of days, I had the opportunity to eat not a slice of humble pie, but several whole ones, I'd say.

One example: I seriously flubbed a chance to honor my husband well, all because I was focused on my own agenda, which, in this case happened to be the kids' school. It was a careless and selfish sin, to say the least, and it brought with it the pain that sin always brings. I did not put him before the children/school. God showed me my own self-centered heart and reminded me of my desperate need for Jesus and the necessity of always being more and more conformed to His perfectly loving, unselfish Image.

Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:4 Yep, I have a lot to learn.

The next day we all had a rocky start. Tuesdays are our most challenging homeschool day (the big 4 go to school on Monday and Wednesday - we homeschool the other days, and on Tuesdays there's a bit more pressure, since things are due the next day. It's good to get started early, but we rarely do). I was still in a funk over my own failing and before breakfast was cleared away I was having to confront one of the children for lying to me. Never a fun thing, that kind of correction.

When we finally gathered ourselves up to begin our group review time, we started by tidying our school area. In the process, I saw one child respond in an ugly, impatient way to another. I called her on it. But I was harsh, still not walking in step with the Spirit like I should've been.

I took the offender to my room so we could talk it all out. This is where I saw Jesus answering my quiet cries for grace in the moment. I was able to openly confess to her my own failure to love their daddy well, and pray aloud about my weakness and need for Christ's power in me. I told her I was sorry for my harshness and prayed for both of us to walk under the Holy Spirit's control, demonstrating those Fruits: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (which, lately, I'm liking the long-suffering translation of the word patience).

When I finished praying, my girl was crying. I asked her what was upsetting her, and God held out another helping of humble pie, because her response showed me I need to do better about focusing on each child when she speaks to me. I told her I was sorry for not listening well enough to her and we had a big hug. I am praising God today for the blessing of that situation and how He took in-a-funk me and the offending daughter, lavished His grace on us, bringing us both around to quiet obedience to Himself...and how on top of that it became a great communication moment for mother and child...and how He was victorious. Oh, I was so tempted to act in the flesh in that whole situation (especially as I inwardly cringed - oh, me of little faith - about another late-start homeschool Tuesday). But Christ was victorious in our hearts.

So, this week, I am thanking God every day, nearly every hour it seems, for the blessing of being humbled and reminded of my need for Jesus. Yep, it stings, but I know it is right and good and that it's evidence of His love for me.

And, oh the mercy of God: we finished school earlier yesterday than we ever have on a Tuesday, giving us all plenty of time to let down our hair and enjoy the grandparents. What a joy that was.
*
Only a few of His countless daily mercies...

1123. I heard church bells today!

1124. I saw and heard a hawk circling above our neighborhood - wonderful!

1125. Funny little evidences of the kids' creativity - when I tidied the schoolroom after school the other day, I found doodles and mini-crafts they'd each created during the schoolday at some point (AH = a funny stick drawing about early birds getting the worm; EG = elaborate doodles; MK = a homemade envelope; LC = a snowflake cutout).

Praise God From Whom All Raindrops Flow

2011-10-09T22:02:00.000-05:00

There were many prayers of thanksgiving to the Giver of Good Gifts today...

We had rain. Steady, gentle, soaking rain. It's been so very long. And there is much rejoicing here.

Thanks be to You, God!

Seriously

2011-09-30T11:37:00.000-05:00

Very common comment from strangers, upon seeing our half dozen girls: Haha! Well, at least it's not all boys! Then, people tell me how much boys eat, play hard, and fight. I'm not convinced that I'm not getting at least a taste of frogs and snails and puppy dog tails!

Two things:

This was all before breakfast.

We need a real football.

Sometimes I think my heart will burst from the intensity of the calling. Days like this, it's from sheer delight in these hilarious, unique people with whom I spend my days.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

*
More on Restful Las Vegas coming up...

Getting Settled

2011-09-28T21:58:00.000-05:00

First: thanks for the comments! I so enjoyed them...

We arrived in Las Vegas around suppertime. Although BB had told me many times what it is like there, I was still overwhelmed walking through the airport and such. It wasn't the kind of overwhelmed I expected. I think it was more from leaving my homemaker-homeschool bubble than it was my new surroundings. It was me the clueless sheltered 30-something with her experienced-traveler husband.

The above photo was taken from our taxi driving away from the airport. You can see part of the strip, but mostly, check out that sunset and those mountains! Oh, and I don't know that I'd ever ridden in a real taxi before that day. I so enjoy new experiences - even if I did feel awkward and wondered: do we make conversation or no?

BB and I would never choose Las Vegas as a trip destination. Given time and freedom we'd love to explore the natural attractions of that region - mountains, desert, Grand Canyon, but we're not really night-life casino people. I know you are surprised to hear that.

Our hotel was quite grandiose and Italian-themed. Very beautiful, honestly. That was when I started just taking in beauty. I included these photos just to show the ceilings. The sky-look was so dreamy and peaceful.

Most of that first night was spent working (he on his school and me on mine...my getting the assignments and notes emailed to BeBe and our sweet homeschool helper) and on having dinner with some of BB's coworkers, none of whom I had met before that evening.

The next morning, he left early for the conference, which was being held in our hotel. I thought I'd sleep in, but the time change (2 hours earlier for us) messed me up. So I made myself take.my.time. getting ready for the day. I'm so used to hurrying, to skipping this or that little habit (like flossing, or putting on makeup!). Then, I was off in search of coffee. And breakfast. I figured I'd cross the street to Starbucks, but then realized it was raining, and me with no umbrella, so I was forced to eat in the French restaurant inside our hotel. What a treat! I got out my tiny brown cardboard Moleskine (my designated trip journal) and started writing, there all by myself at breakfast on a rainy day in Vegas.

And then, to my own surprise, I decided to go walking, rather than rest in the room. And I soon found a pleasant challenge: take photos here that show beauty but don't scream VEGAS!

Even if it's all unoriginal and reproduction, I loved all the Italian Renaissance themed statues and architecture. Just breathtaking.

The mountains again! It was somewhere along these sidewalks and crosswalks that I made a friend: a homeless man named Jeff. I will share more about him in the next post - a special story...

Rest

2011-09-27T00:35:00.000-05:00

The much anticipated business-trip-with-the-husband has come and gone. I've just wanted to kind of savor the whole thing in my heart since then, and have felt quiet about it.

Leading up to the big trip, I was feeling progressively more, well, crazy. And tired. Very, very tired. And I was losing Right Perspective.

Preparing to go away for a week was a major undertaking. God was gracious to help me pull together the details needed for dear, dear BeBe to fly solo with half a dozen little girls. ("BeBe" is my new spelling for the girls' grandma - they call her BB, from her initials...but obviously "BB" is taken here at the blog...and it's my initials too! Too many BB's around here!)

The morning of our flight, were able to take the big four girls to school and run by the grocery one last time. I was trying hard to make sure BeBe would not need to go shopping while we were away.

I don't think I will ever not love getting on a plane. I've always thought there was something so magical and beautiful about airplanes, flight, and the adventure of going somewhere - especially somewhere you've never been before!

Every year, BB attends a conference with several of his colleagues. Every year, we've said, Wouldn't it be cool if I could come with you? This year, God gave us the gift of going together. There's so much about this that was special to me: being together for a week - yes, only in the mornings and evenings, but still kind of honeymoon like, in my thinking; it was a journey to a new place, with fresh sights and sounds for my mind. Most of all, it was a break for a very weary mama. People gave us lots of advice on what we, or I, could do while on our trip. I kept telling them: I am going to sleep, read, write, think, not think, pray, and sleep some more. If I feel like something else, I'll do that.

There's the Great Salt Lake! That's something I'd never seen before and I've never been to Utah. But that wasn't our destination - just a layover. Where, you might ask, did God send me for this restful break with my husband? What Divinely chosen location would be my place of restoration and regaining Perspective?

Why, Las Vegas, of course! That's what you were thinking, right? I love God's sense of humor. I can't wait to share more about the trip. Thanks be to my kind and gracious God: it really was a thorough mental rest - and a very boring week by most people's standards, I am sure. And I loved it.

See that? No, not the unbelievably long line for a taxi - the rainbow! Since it never rains here anymore, I can't remember the last time I saw one. It was refreshing to see it, especially upon arriving in a town that is geared toward stealing a person's gaze away from true beauty.

I'll write more soon...this will take several posts.

God's Best Gift

2011-09-22T10:44:00.002-05:00

Don't you see that children are God's best gift? The fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth.

Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children!

Psalm 127:3-5 (The Message)

I'd be lying if I said I've dealt well with the chaos and demands of everyday life lately. It's been a not-pretty struggle, to tell the truth. I've had to ask forgiveness. A lot.

Yet, Jesus is enough. Every hour, He is enough. He is strong in my weakness. And He has rained down these six amazing blessings on our home and hearts. Abby said it very well over here....
*
He's so good:

1114. pulling CA and CJ around the neighborhood in the wagon yesterday

1115. napping (again!) yesterday with CA, and realizing as I drifted in and out of sleep that she was singing to herself....and I just loved it. Beautiful.

1116. slicing sausages with LC last night, for supper...such a big girl...a pleasure to work with her

1117. how hard all my girls are working...around here and academically. they are amazing.

1118. the good reports we've been given as the year's first teacher evaluations came out...each girl is doing so well. this is especially happy for AH, for whom academic life has been tough in many ways in the past.

1119. dishes to do

1120. darkness coming earlier

1121. a long session of correction and training with a few of the kids this morning - with a prayer that God makes it fruitful...He is, He has, He will.
(the temptation here is for me to get really frustrated with part of the schoolday being "lost" to correction...God give me grace to live in this upside down Kingdom, where these hearts and souls and the gospel are infinitely more important than academics or the schedule I'd like to keep today)

1122. everyone sleeping through lately, even with teething. sweet!

At our favorite park: the girls in yet another wonderfully personalized "adoption gift." My mom had shirts monogrammed with their initials (AH's NEW initials, of course) and with their new birth order, so to speak. Love it!

Okay, Just One More CA Funny {+edit}

2011-09-20T22:22:00.003-05:00

Tonight, I asked EG to read a book to CA while I finished school with some of the others. CA requested a book on the human body and the two of them settled down in bed to read the book.

EG came back to me a few moments later cracking up, because CA had looked up at her during the reading and said, "Are my cheeks rose beef yet?"

I told EG to let CA know that her cheeks are indeed rose beef!

Know what's almost as entertaining and delightful as CA's quotables and colorful personality? It's the fact that her older siblings are mature and kind enough to get a major kick out of her while being careful to honor and respect her. So sweet.

These pics are from the day recently when CA got to go to work with daddy. For an hour. She was done after 25 minutes (right after her chicken-mini's were gone...well, after the chicken out of her chicken-mini's was gone). Good thing he only had to go in for a bit.

Praising God today for the unusual calm He gave me when the schoolday ran long, as it does on Tuesdays.

She had her pack-pack all filled with important things, just like daddy.

This morning: driving down the highway, going 60+mph. CA asks me if I'll put her window down a bit. Sure! No problem. It's so comfortable out this morning! Then, FLIP! And I see something fluttering out behind us, landing on the road. WHAT did you throw out?! I hollered at her. A Bible booooooooook.....she wailed back. Seriously, she ditched one of our Arch books. I turned around and went back to see if it might be retrievable. In the 45 seconds that it took to get back to the spot, the poor book was already in more than one piece, kicked to the curb, as it were. CA, do you know which book it was? Was it Esther? She just wailed some more: I don't knoooooooooooow. It was just a Bible boooooooook!!!!!" (which is what she calls all the Arch books) Oh well. She didn't throw it out on purpose, I know that. I am sure it was one of those, what will happen if I do THIS? moments. She was sweet/funny/sad about it.

Oh, and before the book flew out, I turned around a bit and realized she was sitting there in her carseat with an umbrella. Fully opened up. At least it didn't fly out the window.

And I think she needs her own blog. What do you think?

Smile, She's Hilarious!

2011-09-19T11:31:00.001-05:00

*I meant to include this link. I found this linked at A Holy Experience. Do read it. It's such an encouragement! Also, added a few mercies at the bottom of this post.

I need Thee, O, I need Thee!

Every hour, I need Thee.

O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee.

Annie S. Hawks

I had not thought of the above hymn in years. It was one of those I learned in my young, young years in church. The Lord brought it to mind the other night as I lay in bed, wondering over how to see certain challenges that I face these days. You know, perspective, Right Perspective.

And then that song was in my heart. Over and over. I looked up and read the verses of the song, and they are nice, but really, it's just the refrain that I need today. Everyday.

I need Thee, O I need Thee!

Every hour, I need Thee!

One good way to take the edge off any challenge is to laugh, of course. So, here, to make you smile (and me, too) are some recent shots of you-know-who, our covert Ninja warrior, CA, demonstrating a stunt, yes indeed, a skill I did not know she possessed. I'm providing a play by play series of photos here, so you can see how it's done:

Sometimes CA spends a little more time than is necessary in the bathroom. I know now what's she's been up to, at least some of the time: learning to hang upside down from the sink, of course. I happened to catch her in the act the other day, with her ever so casually throwing those feet up there and then hanging. To my open-mouthed surprise.

So I said to her, "Hey, do that one more time so I can take your picture, okay? But then don't ever do it again." To this she replied that she needed to go get her Ninja mask. Alrighty. Makes this even more interesting. I didn't actually get a perfect shot of her hanging. Only of her falling down while trying to hang. But she can do it, rest assured.

Oh, she cracks me up!

And, as I showed her this post, she informed me, "That's Ninja Guh." Just FYI, folks.
*
1109. CJ's big round baby weight in my arms

1110. How fast CA falls asleep for a nap when I lie down with her

1111. Enormous grace (you know who you are!)

1112. a nap

1113. rain in the night

The Big Mercy Post!

2011-09-13T19:18:00.003-05:00

At last, here are Mercies 1026-1108! These are the 82 blessings shared here by eight different people recently during the giveaway. His goodness just never stops...

I've separated each person's list from the next with a photo. Enjoy!

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Thomas Obadiah Chisholm

* After years of prayer asking God to send someone that was just right for me - I met my husband (1st date over 17 years ago now)

*My daughter (my first child): I was feeling both scared and happy when I held her for the first time as she was crying. I told her "it was ok, mommy's here" and then she stopped crying and looked at me.

*My son, who is my own little copy of his daddy that is with me all the time. A constant reminder of Mercy #1.

*Witnessing my friend becoming a U.S. citizen. Reflecting on all the freedoms I have being born here in the United States and thinking of all the ones I have taken for granted.

*Being in the court room when friends adopted 3 little sisters and my son telling my daughter that afternoon that he saw a family being made. A reminder of the family made up of relatives and friends that God has given me over the years.

*A husband who loves me just as I am.

* Listening to a child learn to read.

*Unexpected rain on a Saturday night.

*God's love that is never failing though I fail over and over!

*Flowers put in a trumpet vine given from the heart.

*Restored relationships

*God's forgiveness

*A new baby due April!!!!

*Peaceful moments to reflect

*Innocence restored, a new beginning

*Freedom felt when at peace with me

*A table puzzle that holds my focus, releasing me from the day’s issues

*Finishing a puzzle proving the journey is the real joy

*Those light moments with shared laughter, a priceless treasure

*Neat thunderstorm from the front porch in the dark, watching the lightshow too

*Disappointment (“my plans”) turned into opportunity

*Laughter from my wife on the phone, nice laughter

*Just the thought of a little grandson due any day

*The squawk of a hawk very close while relaxing on the porch

*Hearing a far away daughter’s voice

*Grateful for my wife more & more as time passes

*Bright orange sunrise over my shoulder

*Sweet fragrance of first rain, just before bed

*Billowy thunderheads with bright white tops

*Riding with my daughter to work

*Our cat relaxed in my lap

*Grown children who become your best friends

*Gospel questions from my sons and a meaningful conversation about our Redeemer and what it means to be saved

*Finding a gently used, high quality 50-cent backpack just in time for school to start

*A phone call from Scotland being happy, happy news from a dear friend

*After years of praying, an answered prayer. A godly man, a husband-to-be for a precious, patient friend. {See above!}

*Hearing my 5 year old son sing scripture

*New baby words, "Nannas" and "Mine"

*A quiet, home-based weekend

*Two big bags of handed-down boy clothes

*Ephesians 4:2 -- my current meditation and daily goal

*My husband's financial leadership and how he supports my daily tightening-the-belt efforts even when steak would be better than oatmeal and toast for dinner

*Coming home to a peaceful house after work today - supper made, happy children, calm husband

*Family story time together, children snuggled close

*Good weather forecasted for tomorrow - I can catch up with the laundry! it's in the machine right now

*Conversation with my husband - not about the kids or our schedules, just about what we are thinking and dreaming

*An ice cream cone when I was really hungry for one - chocolate in a waffle cone

*God's tender, intimate care for me and my family in the past 2 years that I thought would be dark and discouraging - and the fact that God will continue to care for us and that we can overflow the care and love on others too

*Reading Living More with Less - being challenged and yes, a little scared for the future, but thankful that I know God is with us

*Summertime in the mountains...just a few short months, but those months are so treasured!

*New and dear friends whom I'm excited to know better

*The little ways God provides for our family when we need it most.

*Finding more and more contentment and fulfillment in being a mother

*The excitement and anticipation of a new little life in our family, expected to arrive in early spring!

* God's loving kindness and forgiveness of my sins

*A husband who is perfect for me in every way!

*My oldest son, who loves to help in anyway possible, even emptying the dishwasher that still had dirty dishes in it! :)

*The way my second son is always trying to make others laugh

*My third son, telling me he loves me this much, as he spreads out his arms

*Finally ordering homeschool curriculum and feeling good about it!

*My husband's new job - fits him perfectly

*Wonderful family and friends who are always there with a listening ear and encouraging words just when I need them

*Air conditioning!

*Provisions to fly home for a brother-n-laws wedding

*Friends that make you laugh at the simplest things

*Children who crave being read to

*Impromptu dancing in your living room with your children and husband

*Addicting eucharisto lists

*Good books

*A new box of crayons

*Freshly sharpened pencils

*The smell of rain

*A great cup of coffee

*The feel of soft green grass between your toes

*Your children quoting scriptures together

*Your children encouraging each other

*Sunday afternoon nap

*The night sky - seeing the constellations and moon

*Neighbor who plays bagpipes - your very own personal concert

*Crazy wonderful friends who continuously show you God's love

*Tall, dark curly hair, handsome husbands

*Rocking babies - my very own sons and daughter (God's mercy poured out on me, the undeserving when I could no longer see the light)

The Need to Write & The Way Things Are

2011-09-05T11:35:00.001-05:00

Well. A month or so ago, I had a bit of revelation about myself. I sat under some live oaks, waiting for EG to finish up at a friend's pool-park birthday party. It was past time to pour out my heart on paper - my soul was all twisted up inside. Pulled out my journal. Fished for my pen and started writing. Then the pen ran dry. Oh. Dear. I was surprised by the panic I felt! That's when it hit me:

I feel mute without a pen in my hand in those kinds of moments.

Even from a young age, I was framing up my experiences in carefully thought out sentences mentally, with the intention of writing them down so that I could remember that moment the way it really was.

In the end I found a pen that day. And I wrote and wrote. Ahhh, relief. Putting it on paper is how my thoughts start to make sense to me when they're gnarled up or bottled inside my head. And the journal is the place to document this and that, memories, truths, everything. I don't write every day...just whenever I have a moment, which is very rare, to be true, of late. And it has to be on paper. What I write here has almost always been scribbled in pen somewhere first.

Recently, BB allowed me the chance to escape and be alone for a bit. I knew I'd write. I grabbed my journal, two pens, and a coconut cupcake, for good measure. As I feverishly put words on lines, hand tense from mind moving faster than pen, this came: Maybe I should be typing. But typing feels so clinical sometimes, so not organic. Handwriting, it is so slow. And the pages, they do add up. But manual writing, if you will, limits me to one thought at a time, and boy, do I need that limitation after days surrounded by seven other people's thoughts!

We are in another time of transition, from crazy-crazy summer to school-mode. I'm not handling it so well. It's a good transition, but I keep finding myself all weepy and overwhelmed and paralyzed with indecision over silly little things.

Remember the marathon analogy I kept using, regarding the intense season we've experienced? And how God carried me to the end? I wondered what would be next. What comes after being carried? Then I knew. It's funny, because it's not been my experience in the past to have God give me all these pictures of where He has me (such as the marathon). But here's what He's shown me. That race is over. The calling to chaos is past. He has set me down at a crossroads. In one direction is chaos and in the other is order. Will I walk in faith toward order, trusting Him to show me what that needs to look like, day by day, new habit by new habit, or will I balk there or take what has become the more familiar path, back into craziness?

The real help to me, though, was when He helped me see myself as a newborn fawn. You know how they look when they're born, all helpless and wobbly-legged. But they stand almost immediately, and they walk soon after that. That's me, standing at that crossroads, nervously taking a few wobbly and inexperienced steps toward a new season. But, of course, I don't step alone! This is what Jesus gave me next...

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;

He enables me to stand on the heights.

2 Samuel 22:34

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
He enables me to go on the heights.

Habakkuk 3:19

He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
He enables me to stand on the heights.

Psalm 18:33

You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.

2 Samuel 22:37

But I prayed, “Now strengthen my hands." Nehemiah 6:9

I've felt so off-balance and disoriented lately, but there's no crisis here. I feel like there is, but in truth, there isn't. Whew, good thing! It's not the first time in my life when a transition has thrown me in a big way.

There's much on my heart I'd love to spill out here, but time doesn't allow it today.

One thing I will say is this: my husband has captured my heart completely. Oh, he already had it, of course, but his patience and sensitivity toward me in all this has been lavish, sweet healing to my heart, hope-giving. Grace. He has sacrificed time and his to-do list so that I could be alone here and there, allowing me to write and think. He's very kindly reminded me to believe God; to believe what I've heard Him say to me about the passing of one season, the birthing of a new one, and to take those wobbly steps of faith.

We celebrated 12 years of marriage yesterday. I love him so much more as time passes. What a privilege to walk through life with this man. How glad I am to have him by my side to face these struggles together, and the happy times too.

We said a sad goodbye to BB's mom, sister, and her babies yesterday. Friday, we welcome more family! And Monday, we take to the skies, as I get to tag along on his business trip. It's the first time in many, many years that I've had such a wonderful opportunity!

I'm going take a break from blogging for a short time. I love to write here, but at the moment there's almost no time to think (because my little brain is consumed with adjusting to what will be our new normal!), much less time to write - on paper or on screen.

I hope to write the big mercies post while I'm away with BB, but we'll see.

Thanks so much for coming here. It's precious to me that people take the time to stop and visit! The Lord bless you and keep you...
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And just for my own memory's sake...that closed journal pictured above...that's the Summer 2011 Calling to Chaos journal. It's June 1- August 31, basically. It was special to have a new one waiting to be started, right here at such a meaningful turning point in life.

I'll Be Back!

2011-09-02T18:18:00.001-05:00

Please forgive my extended absence here! We've been blessed to have BB's sister, her darling children, and his mom (Gramma!) here visiting us this week from Back Home. So we've been busy talking, caring for eight little ones, just being together.

See that? Oh dear. We are praying for rain. It's been something like 80 days of 100 degree or higher temps with no rain during those days. The land is so tired.

I love reflections. CJ was reading the paper to confirm that it really was as HOT as it feels. It is.

I will be back as soon as time allows.

Tonight, we are off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz! One of our friends from church is a flying monkey in a local production. What a treat to go to the theatre! Last fall, I took the girls to see Cinderella there. Prince Charming was played by our flying-monkey-friend's older brother in that show!

Giveaway Winners!

2011-08-22T23:28:00.002-05:00

I am sorry I'm so slow to post around here these days! Another season of adjustment this is, starting back to school. It is an adjustment we are all welcoming!

Moving on, though! Today, CA chose the winners of the Mercies Giveaway. Thanks again to all of you who sent in a list of God's goodness to you. And the winners are...

For Prize #1 (which included Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts), the winner is Lauren! Congratulations! I'll be getting that in the mail to you as soon as possible!

And the winner of the other prize (including John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life) is...

Abby over at The Chou Life! I hope you will enjoy the goodies, Abby! Thanks again for sharing here.

I will be working on a big post including all the wonderful praises you all sent in. That will be a fun one! I think I received over 60 individual Mercies!

(look at the wicked spikes on the leaves!!)

I know many of you are in the same season of transitioning out of summer, into academia, like we are. I hope things settle into a good routine for all in the coming days and weeks.

The next few months are happily full of more adventures. We have an aunt, cousins, and Gramma coming to town this weekend to visit for a week; then I get the glorious privilege of joining BB on a business trip; then my parents will be in town and we'll take a jaunt to the Texas State Fair in October. Whew. So much to look forward to! Boredom is not a problem around here, I assure you.

A few mercies to finish out the day...

1021. bats: their erratic ballet at dawn

1022. AH: she whistles now. she's humming a hymn...On Christ the solid rock I stand...these are good things to hear from her...

1023. small steps: making rice ahead of time for BB to use for his at-work lunches (it's been way long since I've prepared anything ahead of time...this feels good!)

1024. making a new recipe! It was a kale, blackeyed pea, crumbled bacon dish. YUM! Mostly, though, just so nice to try something new!

1025. doing history with all my girls at once (last year each was doing her own history era; this year, they are all on the same one, hooray!)

1026. doing science with all my girls at once (same thing...last year separate sciences)
*

In a pinch: on Parents' Day at swim lessons, CA was about to lose her mind because of the heat, lack of shade, her hair sticking to her back....we didn't have any ponytail holders with us...in the end this worked and freed her from some of her "misery"...

First Week of School & Finding Our Feet

2011-08-19T15:18:00.002-05:00

(Just a few more hours before the giveaway is closed. Email me with your mercies in order to be entered in the drawing for one of two prize packs! I'll announce the winners in my next post and will start to work on "the party," ie, publishing the grand list of God's goodness you all have shared with me! And a quick note on the first photo: the girls saw a rabbit dart across the yard...)

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.

Impress them on your children.

Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road,

when you lie down and when you get up.

Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Our big four have now finished their first week of school. I am (we are!) so excited about the new school God placed in our path. It's a perfect fit for our family and I'm praying God uses all that the girls learn and do at school to prepare them for Kingdom work, both now and in the future.

What a privilege and joy to take part in university model schooling...truly a gift from God. And truly a unique arrangement - where the big ones are at school two days a week and we're all here together, homeschooling, on the other three days.

Jesus reminded me really quick this week that hearts are more important than academics and efficient schedules. And once again, my spirit chafed. Oh, will I ever learn? But He gave me the grace to give thanks for all the time it took to work with this one or that one, addressing heart issues during our homeschool days this week. I will admit it: I wanted efficiency more than I wanted to work with souls who need Jesus or who need discipling as Christ-followers.

Here's a quick peek into how our Tuesday (at home) looked at one point, early in the day - and this was all happening nearly simultaneously...

EG: asking me deep (really deep) questions about her own heart and walk with Jesus

CJ: shredding a napkin all over the living room

LC: crying over the shredded napkin - apparently it was "special"

CA: leaning over the ledge (we have sort of a loft half-wall thing upstairs) to get a balloon, losing her balance, bashing her gums on the ledge (thankfully not falling OVER the ledge)...crying, bleeding

MK: dejunking her hoarded mess up in her bed

AH: I don't know where she was or what she was doing.

Me: trying hard to praise God for all these "delays"...this slow, SLOW start, being convicted of the backwardness of caring more about getting things done than I do about leading little souls to Jesus.

So, don't look at us if you want a cozy, quiet view of homeschooling! Actually, I see a lot of potential for positive change in these areas as we find our feet this year. And even if there is not change in the ways I'd like, God help me give thanks in it all, for you are always, always good! And I am so, SO glad that I get to have my girls around me. Jesus has made us rich in giving us this bustling feminine brood.

Oh my goodness - my little listmaker: that would be AH. All the other big ones imitated her idea. They had checklists for getting ready in the morning and checklists for what they were going to pack in their lunches. Hilarious! Quote of the day, as written on one of their lists: Don't forget to use deoderant!!! You don't want to be stanky on your first day of school.

These two were hamming it up for the pictures. I couldn't get any good ones indoors. And, you can't see them in this photo, but all the girls had a sweet, personalized bag tag for their lunchboxes and backpacks. These were a gift to us with AH was added to our family. Such a perfect and practical idea!!

and I just thought this was pretty...rarely anything other than a ponytail...lookin' all graceful and ladylike...

Carried Across the Finish Line

2011-08-14T23:17:00.001-05:00

There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.

Deuteronomy 1:30

My four oldest girls start school tomorrow. This day is quite a milestone for me - the transition to a new season. Feels like I'm finishing a marathon, carried over this finish line by the Lord, so that I can start on a fresh challenge: let the academics begin.

And this racer is tired tonight, so she's off to bed!

I'll have more here when the dust settles a bit during their first week in school.

In time, I hope to catch up on the summer - those FOUR birthdays we celebrated in one month; the wonderful last session of swim lessons, and so on. I figure that winter's a pretty dead time for me on getting fun and bright photographs, so that may be when I pull out all the summer stock and play catch up on June, July, August 2011.

He is Kind {Edited a few times...He keeps showering down goodness}

2011-08-12T11:02:00.007-05:00

I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love;

I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.

Hosea 11:4

1017. Flossy white-blonde curls

Today, I just want to say God has been kind to me. His kindness is everywhere, everyday. It's in the big things - Jesus has redeemed me. It's in the small things - the sweetness of her shiny, wild hair.

Thanks to you all who have sent in your mercies. It's so fun to read the ways God has been kind to you. And it'll be so fun to publish the big list before too long. And choose two winners for the giveaway! Your list needs to be emailed by 8pm on Friday, August 19th in order to be entered for the prizes.

We're in the last push in the back-to-school preparations. School starting will bring a major shift in our family's daily life. I am excited to see all God has for us in this new season!

The Lord bless you and keep you over this weekend.
*

1018. MK's sweet ways with younger siblings...when she sees CA less than willing to finish her food, she offers to tell her a story or read her a book, all the while saying "okay! take a bite, then I'll turn the page!" So heartwarming to see this.

1019. making a list. this brought me to tears a moment ago. how long has it been since I inventoried our food supply, then made a menu based on it, then a grocery list based on that? It's very symbolic of a changing of seasons for me. And of the kindness of my God, for doing what is good.

1020. Over, and over, and over: reassured that He carries me...that I don't have to be strong. Today: My twins times two friend asks to take my two oldest as mommy's little helpers - a last summer adventure for my big ones (and their first "babysitting" opportunity), and a help to my friend. This, giving me a laid back, quiet afternoon with the youngest 4. I can't thank Him enough for the way that He loves me.

Learning Grace

2011-08-07T00:20:00.002-05:00

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

I've been reading Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Children With the Love of Jesus, by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson.

God is using their frank and loving words on the gospel, grace, mercy, and sin to turn my thinking upside down. In the best way possible.

I'm going to share several quotes from the book that caught my heart's attention. These are all from the chapter titled, "Jesus Loves All His Little Prodigals and Pharisees." I hope that in some way this might encourage a reader here.

The authors have used the story of the prodigal son as the basis for these thoughts, referring to the older brother as the rule keeper and the prodigal as the rule breaker. They've also used two characters, Susan and David, to illustrate the truths gained from Jesus' parable. Susan is the rule keeper; David is the rule breaker, just for reference.

(Quotes from the book are all in italics)

What's truly amazing is that Jesus Christ loves both rule breakers and rule keepers. And because of His perfect obedience, both of them can be called "beloved sons." When the believing rule breaker sins, he can look up and say "Jesus is my righteousness." And when the believing rule keeper realizes her self-righteousness, she too can look up and say, "Jesus is my righteousness." (Wow. Talk about leveling the playing field. It's so easy to believe that compliant children (or people in general) somehow need a Savior less than their more stubborn counterparts!)

We hinder our children from enjoying God's embrace when we teach them that their religious activity and obedience elevates them out of the category of sinner in need of mercy. (This was me - I always saw myself as not so bad, or better than other people, because I was good at following rules, and hence really not in desperate need of Jesus' forgiveness and help.)

The father's loving welcome extends to both sons, although neither one is worthy or deserving in any way. The father has a higher rule, a greater law: merciful love. Our children...need to hear His message of entreaty: "My arms are open to you; all that is mine is yours. Come and delight in my generous mercy." (Here, the author is referring to the father in the prodigal son story, who, of course, represents God the Father. What a relief to think on it: the Father's loving welcome extends to both sons! What relieving truth to teach my heart and the hearts of my children and the heart of anyone who needs Jesus.)

Being specific about the ways you are simultaneously proud and disobedient will help your children understand that the gospel is for sinners. The gospel is not good news to those who pride themselves on their hard work. (This passage is urging parents to be humble and honest with their children about their own struggles with sin. Again, the leveling of the playing field: Daughter of mine, I face and wrestle with sin, too, and every day I need a Savior, Jesus, who has forgiven, will forgive. Child, you are not the only one who sins, who is tempted! And, oh, have I been proud over my hard work! I listed "being wrong" as one of my mercies recently. This was because God has been showing me how wrongly I've been believing regarding grace. Intellectually, I understood it, but not so much experientially. Thank You, Lord, for teaching me!)

(photos of summer...watering the grass, portulaca that opens before your eyes as the sun hits it, and, one of the many pecan trees that shade us during a very hot 2 hours of swim lessons last week and next week)

Susan and David need to know that they are sinners - that the gospel is for sinners - and that there is a rescuer who loves pouring out mercy on those who cannot help themselves.

Give grace to your children by speaking of sin and mercy. Tell Susan that she can relax into God's loving embrace and stop thinking that she has to perform in order to get her welcoming Father to love her. Tell David that he can have hope that even though he really struggles, he's the very sort of person Jesus loved being around.

I hope that these quotes (these Truths!) bring hope and encouragement to you today.
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One more thing - and I must always keep saying this to myself - but may I gently encourage you to do something? Read God's Word and talk to Him each day. Scripture is soul food. Don't starve yourself. Eat every day. You will not regret it, ever. And maybe talking to God isn't easy for you or is new to you, or things are just so hard right now? Speak to Him anyway, even if it's just to say Help. He tells us to pour our hearts out to Him. He's listening. He's the only One who can change anything and He loves you more than you can imagine.
*
Wait - one last thing, for real. I've still not set an ending time for the giveaway. I've had three precious responses, containing a total of 30 mercies! Praise to the Giver of Mercy!

Carried

2011-08-02T21:42:00.003-05:00

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1

We are in a terrible drought here in Texas. It's been a long, dry, blisteringly hot summer. Today, my outdoor thermometer registered 110 degrees in late afternoon. Talk about the dog days. I think it has rained two or three times these past three months.

I photographed the plant above in early July. I don't know what it is, but it seems to embody hardiness - it is crusty, dry, and alive.

My heart is so full as summer ends. What an odyssey it's been.

I'm spent.

Recently, God gave me a sort of picture in my mind of what it looks like to fix my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). It was me on a tightrope, taking those careful steps forward, with my gaze on the face of Christ, Who is standing at the end of the rope. And like Peter, who walked on water as long as he was focused on Jesus, it seemed God was saying to me that my heart focused on Christ would keep me balanced on the tightrope.

But now, after this long, beautiful, crazy season, I cannot even walk that rope anymore. Know what that means? Another picture He gave me: Him, the Shepherd, carrying me, the weary lamb, His servant, through the rest of this part of the journey, with my head laid on His shoulder.

For me, this image has to do with letting go of burdens God never intended for me to carry (read: worrying over things like my children's salvation, not really trusting Jesus to bring them to Himself). This being carried has to do with admitting I am tired and that it certainly won't be my strength or ingenuity that gets us through the rest of summer and school starting (August 15th for us!). All of this points back to the fact that I'm also seeing I've relied upon, and prided myself on my hard work and efforts. To rest my head on the Shepherd's shoulder is to Cease striving and know that [He is] God (Psalm 46:10).

This summer - it's been so much more than merely 100 days with no school. We have lived. We have Lived life abundantly. Jesus said, I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)

It's been the Summer of the Gospel in this house, all praise to to Jesus. He has changed us; His Good News has blossomed and flourished and become daily conversation here, like never before. I hope the Summer of the Gospel gives way to the Life of the Gospel, where every member of our family never stops talking about the goodness of God in Jesus...where each of us, by His grace, lives out His love in all our encounters with people, for the glory of God and the blessing of all.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

Isaiah 40:11

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Hey! Don't forget to share your own mercies from God with us! Emailing me with your list of five (or more!) favorite mercies will enter you to win a prize in the giveaway!

1000 Celebration and a Giveaway!!

2011-07-28T16:06:00.006-05:00

This is Mercy Number 1000, which is really the Source of all other Mercies:

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.

Titus 3:4-5

This is everything.

Jesus loves you. He loves you.

He loves me.

He loves you if you're a law-breaker. Loves you if you're a law-keeper. Because both, because we all, are sinners. And Jesus Christ died to redeem sinners! O happy truth and loving God!

And, in celebration of His unending mercies and His goodness to us in the gospel, I'm having a party here. Let's glorify Him together! Here is how it will work:

I would love to hear how God has blessed you. I know He is doing things in and for you, too. Why not turn this into a praise-party? Think of FIVE mercies the Father has lavished on you. This could be the immediate: watching the sky turn morning blue all alone this morning; the rustling of tree leaves in the quiet dark; having a dishwasher. Your five could also be the deeper things: God's sovereignty; this husband; mountain moved - AH here, ours.

The point is to glorify our good God together!

And in celebrating His gifts and blessings, I want to pass some happy goodies on to a couple of you! Sharing five mercies (by email) will enter you in the giveaway! Here are photos of the two prizes. Just little things I've been picking up, hoping they'll delight someone else! I'll lay out the rules further down. Oh, and EG gets all photo credit for the prize packs!

Prize Number 1:

A tiny Moleskine (maybe you might number God's goodnesses there?); necklace and earring set (made by Miss C!); Lavender soap (handmade locally); Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts; and a Rosewater-scented travel set containing shower gel, body lotion, hand therapy and soap.

Prize Number 2:

Another small Moleskine; locally made cucumber and aloe soap; a jojoba oil travel set containing body wash, shampoo, conditioner, and lotion; John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life

I'm always very reluctant to request response on my blog, because I want it to be real - you be you and me be me, no begging and such for comments. But this is one time that I will call on you all to spill out a bit so that I can see how God is blessing others, so that we can indeed glorify Him together! And so that we can see....because here's what I am thinking....

The Rules:

1. Email me (tismercyall(at)gmail(dot)com) your list of five mercies - and sharing more than that is most certainly allowed and encouraged!

2. What I really would love is to compile the mercies you all share and list them out in a future post, so in your email to me, let me know if you are okay with my sharing them here. I won't be connecting your list with your name in the Mercy Post that will result...just a long list of anonymous praises to the Lord is really what I'm after!

3. The two winners will be chosen randomly from the names of people who contribute a list of five mercies.

4. Right now, I'm not putting an ending date on the giveaway. I'm thinking I'll close it in a couple of weeks...no hurry.

So, are you in? You should be, because our God is a good God, and I know He has poured out His mercies on you, too! And the prizes are fun, yes? If you already have some of these items, maybe you could use them as gifts, and bless someone else. My girls have been very concerned: Mommy, what if a BOY wins one of the prizes? Well, I guess he could give it to his mom, I tell them!

And...counting on...

1001. This (below), and the heart that surprised me with it this week

1002. This (below), arriving in the mail inside a thoughtful note the same day as the above gift; and the heart of the friend who sent it. What wonderful and unexpected - and happily matchy - gifts!

1003. And this - late in the same day! Fancy loose tea to enjoy. But again - the greater mercy here is the heart of the friend who gave it.

1004. my kids, upstairs playing campout together...all FIVE of the big ones! I am so glad they are friends!

1005. Carpodacus mexicanus!

1006. that CA calls the Carpodacus mexicanus a hinch

1007. busted schedules and ruined routines - I will keep thanking Him for the Calling of Chaos! Oh, we do see Him at work here, do we ever!

1008. AH in too-small dresses, as she pretends, and lives like a little girl, some childhood restored - grace, grace...

1009. A good, good moment: sitting w/all the girls (except for Baby) on the couch, AH on my lap, reading Little House on the Prairie to them, first time in too long...did us all good.

1010. long, leisurely, late breakfasts...summer breakfasts

1011. the thrill of anticipation: going on a business trip with my true love in September!

1012. those rustling leaves in the dark this morning

1013. being wrong

1014. because it means God can correct my beliefs

1015. deeper, wider, truer grasp of grace

1016. those who are making the business-trip-with-the-husband possible!

So Much to be Thankful For

2011-07-22T08:49:00.001-05:00

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

Psalm 16:6

You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.

Psalm 4:7

Today, my little baby has turned one. Here and here, you'll find the story and announcement of her birth. Such a happy, happy day. I can't thank God enough for every day He has given us with each of the girls. Dimple Wimple has been a true delight, a precious, unexpected blessing from the Lord.

She is walking. She's imitating words, just a bit. And sometimes she copies gestures. But mostly, she's still just big, chubby, dimpled goodness - and certainly the most popular person in the house!

Pardon my low-frequency-posting of late. We are in the thick of birthday season - FOUR birthdays between July 1 and Aug 1. CJ's is the third one in the line of summer birthdays. CA is the last of the four, and will be four in about two weeks. I thought that if any of you was having a blah day and were not already cheered up by the dimpled goodness and toilet play photos, that this one would make you smile. We'll use it someday when she's trying to impress her future husband, definitely.

I promised to post my 1000th Mercy celebration next, but I suppose I lied, because I just had to acknowledge those birthdays first, and how very, very happy our hearts are that God has gifted us with six amazing children. The above photo - one of the girls' many pretending sessions. I think this one had to do with Rapunzel (hence the yellow sheet on AH's head...that's her long golden hair, of course).

I eat this up. The little ones are superstars around here and the older ones are very kind to them - helping, encouraging, serving their smallest siblings. How's this for a support group?! CA was "reading" to them.

991. Seven years of having LC

992. Nine years of having MK

993. One year of having CJ

994. math wars with one of my less mathematically-inclined children: may God make me more like Jesus in that struggle and through that struggle, and may He use it as a step in her path to trusting Christ as Savior.

995. long, sweet talk with my Atlanta girlfriend - Thank You, Jesus, for Your Body, all over the world!

996. good dental care for the children (5 cleanings in one morning, 2 hours)

997. that shimmering pink slash in the sunrise sky and opposite, a sharp, glowing moon...music of chickadees and doves singing His praise early

998. song of the mockingbird yesterday, middle of the day, seemingly out of nowhere, deeply encouraging to my spirit yesterday

999. text messaging (here my BB rolls his lovin' eyes at me) - truly the Lord uses all manner of vehicles to further His purposes!

Celebrating His Great Work

2011-07-18T00:47:00.000-05:00

For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will — to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. Ephesians 1:4-6

Over Memorial Day weekend, our faith family here in Texas honored us with an adoption celebration. Here are photos from that special day, and a song that is very special to our family. I'm numbering mercies here, today, too. There are far more, of course, than ever make it on this list!
Mandi Mapes / This Love / P E M MA by jamesjosephaudio

982. My hand on her head, after so many, many months of prayer and uncertainty.

983. Anytime my EG gets a chance to play with Mrs. M's E (they share first names!)

984. Friends like this who are willing to get up in your business in the name of Love...she serves and blesses and glorifies God. (she has two sets of adoption-blessing twins!)

985. Friends like this who prayed and labored with us through the long, hard months, and then watched the younger four while we finalized the adoption Back Home in May

986. Balloons with AH's name on them - a special touch that meant a lot to her, to us

987. The Body of Christ: several members seen here, all of whom have loved our family deeply, faithfully (that's Miss C in the plaid, who's been my right hand gal this summer; She's standing by her dad, who leads our Sunday school class, along with his dear wife, in the balloon photo above this one)

988. Others sharing our joys and pains (Mrs. M on the left; my friend S on the right - she's also been blessed through adoption)

989. Christ followers who take care of needs...meals, baby holding, understanding

990. The adoption party itself - such a thoughtful, beautiful celebration on a warm, sunny night

The next few photos show our family gathered around opening the amazing and generous gifts our friends gave us...

I really think there must have been a "think y'all will have more kids?" joke here...

This gift was awesome - it's a large, metal, cursive word "Family" with small hooks on it. Our friends painted 6 tiny picture frames in happy bright colors, put a photo of each girl in one of the frames, then hung the photos by coordinating ribbons from the "Family" wall hanging. I've finally figured out where to hang it in our living room - I'm excited! What a beautiful and creative gift.

Almost got all of them in this shot! Oh, and you can see the rosebush one special friend gave us - it's planted and thriving in the yard now!

Sweet photo, yes?

Everyone gathered around and blessed us with words of encouragement, then we prayed and released the special balloons with AH's new name on them

J & J, our friends with the two sets of twins, gave us this very sentimental treasure of a gift...having the girls' hands pressed in clay, marked with their initials.

Another neat, really personalized gift celebrating our new and improved family!

Last of all, we ended the day with an impromptu sleepover. We heart spontaneous get togethers! Thanks for letting her come, Mrs. M!

Thanks for taking the time to check out this photo album of our special day. I am so thankful for God's kindness to us - in sending Jesus, in giving us AH, and in pouring out his love on us through His body, this Family, these friends...I don't have adequate words!

Thank You, Lord!

*
Getting very close to the 1000th mercy here...when it hits that big number, I'll be doing a special giveaway and hope to pull you into sharing God's mercies in your own life...a kind of celebration here, for His glory, thanking Him for His goodness!

When Chaos is the Calling

2011-07-08T20:23:00.000-05:00

(It's with too much trepidation and hesitation that I finally put out this post. Sweet Mrs. M told, me post already! Well, she didn't say it quite like that, but here it is! And I sincerely welcome comments and questions, because I'm throwin' a lot out here.)

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Swim lesson photos: playground outside the pool area. I rarely say yes to their playing on it, because it is so hot, and I don't love the sand coming home with us.

I have wrestled and thought much about this post. These thoughts have been percolating in my heart and mind for quite some time and I've prayed a lot over whether and how to communicate what God is teaching me. In the end, I think He is saying trust Me to give you the words.

So here goes.

First, a disclaimer: this is not a post about the virtues of one particular lifestyle over another. My prayer is that this will be an encouraging look into some of the realities of the Christ-life. These are truths that are new to me, concepts I've not heard others discuss or hash out. So maybe talking here is a good thing, because perhaps others would benefit from the hearing, the sharing. May something here add to you growing toward Christ, increasing in faith. And I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences in these areas, too!

That said, I love being organized. To-do lists, routines, order, plans - they're all part of who I am by nature.

CA took her first preschool swim class. She "passed" her class too (not really a pass or fail situation...more about exposure to the idea of water and swim instructors)

So, the fact that our life has been a rather messy, chaotic affair for the past 4.5 years has not been easy for me. Starting with my fourth pregnancy, which included pretty limiting back pain, our somewhat ordered and routine family life began to disappear. And with a few short-term exceptions, we have never returned to a place of simplicity. Life has not circled back, so far, to a place where I feel in control.

And I have agonized over this inside. The primary thought that hovers in my heart, making me feel heavy and burdened? I bet if I were doing such-and-such differently or better, if I were more disciplined or if I worked harder, our life would not be so ________. You can fill in the blank here - some things I'd put in the blank would be chaotic, cluttered, behind, loud, exhausting, un-routine, unscheduled.

But, oh, my! Has Jesus ever been speaking to me on these things in the past several months! It's been and it still is, a slow drip of Truth, of correction from Him to my heart, training me toward What Really Matters.

The last day was parents' day, when we're allowed inside the pool area to watch the kids demonstrate what they've learned. I was blown away by EG's diving. From a standing position, she can vault herself crazy high in the air! Strong girl!

One thing that He has made clear to me in this season is that this is what He has for me. I have made many, many attempts at creating order through routines, schedules, and so on. And you know what? They have all been a bust. In my flesh, this makes me feel like a failure. Heck, the chaos and craziness itself can make me feel pretty bummed out about my roles as a homemaker, mom, and wife, because in my limited human mind, it seems that order and tidiness have got to be superior to their opposites. Surely Jesus would rather me have all my ducks in a row before I am prepared to serve, to obey?

But, enter Truth. Enter a Savior Who won't stop teaching me. Throw in the fact that Jesus is the King of an Upside Down Kingdom, where dying to self equals Life, and owning my life results in Death, and a thousand other seeming contradictions.

The teaching He has for me here, now, is this, I think: be confident in Me; be confident in what I have for you. In other words, God wants me to first of all take Him at His word, This is what I have for you; and secondly, to be confident in that word. This means I must stop fretting, cease second guessing myself, quit apologizing to myself and others for what I've been seeing as glaring imperfections in myself and rest joyfully and confidently in the crazy, happy, less-than-balanced life He's given. I don't have to worry anymore about what if I did this differently, or what if I tried harder at that. As a young friend quipped to me recently, Embrace the chaos. For real: love it, rejoice in it, praise Jesus for it!

AH and MK were in the same class. Here they were jumping in to practice their various strokes. They know so much more than I do once they finish these courses. Dolphin kick? What?! They did so well.

This all bleeds together into other Truths Jesus is helping me understand, and forgive me if this is a little disjointed, for truly I am in the middle of this learning.

Lemme 'splain, as Ricky Ricardo would say. God is teaching me, is teaching our family, that there are three big, non-negotiable, Kingdom priorities that are NOT efficient. What are these? Jesus is teaching us that

Relationships are NOT efficient

Discipleship is NOT efficient

Ministry is NOT efficient

When I speak of discipleship, I refer to both my personal effort to seek and know Christ, as well as the responsibility God has given me to disciple my own children and other believers. (Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them inthe name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:19-20)

I mention all this because the truth is that I crave efficiency, with everything clicking along just so, all color coded and on time and each box checked. But here's reality: there's nothing efficient about the life God has called me to live for Him right now. I've told BB so many times that getting all my peeps on board for a particular family project or whatever is so overwhelming that it usually feels like me trying to haul a train up a steep hill!

Another jump in thinking here - and it does all kind of come together in the end...(smile)...

In my sidebar information, I've written that I am passionate about discipleship. I love knowing that a person has gotten it (meaning more truth, deeper understanding about walking with Jesus). One on one relationship building is dear to my heart. This includes my kids - a long time ago, due to the fact that they had such vastly different learning styles, I started working with each girl individually, reading her the Word or doing a little Bible study with her, and praying with her each day. These days, I still work one on one with the younger three daily and alternate days sitting in with the big three on their devotional time. I want to know that they know how to study their Bibles and what prayer means, and so on. At many points, my willingness to do so has not been what it should be. God, keep me faithful!

Also, in recent months, the Lord has been opening some neat opportunities to get to know a few young ladies in a discipleship/friendship capacity. This is so, so exciting to me. I've always hoped over time that God would allow me to know and encourage young women in the Faith, and that I might be a helper to those newly married, and to ladies with young children.

And what about building relationships with other women? I'm not talking about being a social butterfly, but rather about snatching opportunities to meet and talk with ladies for mutual encouragement in the Christ-life. Sometimes this means late nights and odd hours, so as not to cut into family and marriage time. It's all good, though.

Next to the Lord, it's my relationship with BB that needs the most careful time and attention. We have prayerfully been seeking ways to increase our communication and time spent together as the demands on each of us have grown in the past year. God is working these things out, too. Again, often a late night or odd hours may be the best time. Also, we're seeking to set up an every-other-week date night with a standing agreement that our sitter just knows to be here at such and such time every other Friday or whatever. Then BB and I can go away and stare at each other, or talk, or whatever our relationship needs.

EG is so photogenic! CA made a little friend whom she played with during the big girls' lessons. In the middle photo, they were Ninja Girls and were off to attack a tree. And there's mom, enduring the heat with us in order to experience swim lessons a bit.

I really am getting to a point, I promise. Sort of.

I guess what I'm trying to say, what I'm in the process of learning is this - there are a million ways to spend my time. I cannot do it all. What matters most is God's glory, His love, His gospel going out. This happens through relationships. As I mentioned further back, relationships, discipleship, and ministry are not efficient, check-the-box-it's-done items.

For me these days, it's a choice between pouring my time and heart into other people's lives, inside and outside these four walls, as God wills, or maintaining more order and routine and such. I cannot do both. And I know which is more important. That doesn't mean the choice is easy sometimes. I love building relationships. I enjoy encouraging and being encouraged. Sometimes it is hard to let it go, though - it being better housekeeping or what have you. Often, I want the best of both worlds!

I've mentioned before here that another positive to this unscheduled life Jesus has handed me is that it has made us really flexible people, and that's been awesome on a practical level and a ministry level - being able to jump in and help others at the drop of the hat at times, or meet up with someone who needs to talk at 10pm, or what have you.

And since this is a giant ramble, I'll add this regarding routine - there actually is a guiding factor as to how we spend our time most days. It is this: for BB and me to have time in the mornings seeking to know Christ better; for each child to do the same as early in the day as possible, some with me, some on their own. The day really revolves around making that happen. Meals together include a chapter of scripture, so that we feed our souls and not just our bodies. At times, this is an uphill battle against noise and interruptions. May I be excused to go to the bathroom? This, right as we dive into Romans 3. Then there are the questions, sometimes less than conducive to a deeper understanding of God's Word: What if the disciples only had Tic Tacs and not bread and fish to give Jesus for the hungry people? Ummm, moving on, kids! Oh, and to add to the ambiance, there's usually a tray-banging, squealing baby at the table with us. We carry on, praying God makes the reading and hearing of His Word fruitful. And we do have good discussions during some of our scripture-eating at the table - between bangs and squeals, that is.

Almost everything else just gets done when I can do it, when we can do it. And in the end, it all works out. It's a blessing to see the ways that God accomplishes all that needs attention and work in our family's lives! The kids work hard and are learning how to do various homemaking jobs and to serve the family by helping.

It is good common sense to be organized, to pursue order, to make it so everything has a place. And underneath it all, we have that. But these days, in this season of six young children and adjustments, pouring a large percentage of my time and energy into fastidious homemaking is not God's call.

Right now, I've got the amazing opportunity to disciple my own children in what Christ-following looks like, as well as the chance to speak the truth of Jesus into the young ladies coming up after me. I get to serve my husband, looking for ways to bless him and encourage him for the glory of God.

Trains are a big part of the summer swim lesson experience. The tracks are pretty close to the pool area. Left: loved the vanishing point element. Right: the graffiti on train cars is so interesting and often very skilfully done!

So, onward! Let the energy and liveliness and conflicts and clutter rage on around me, because God is accomplishing His purposes in it all, through it all. He desires an open, available heart. Kingdom things are happening here. But for now God has chosen to remove the feeling of control I'd be having if we were living a nice, quiet life...for now, He's calling me to rely on Him, hour by hour, day by day, to live out His purposes. He's got me flying by the seat of my pants in to all His holy will!

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

Quiet

2011-06-29T00:03:00.001-05:00

[God said,] No one is to appear before me empty-handed. Exodus 34:20

Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. Hebrews 13:15

How can I avoid coming empty-handed before the Lord? And how can I at the same time find solid ground when my emotions or circumstances throw my mind willy-nilly? I can come to Him bearing the sacrifice of praise in my hands, spoken from a heart richly blessed. When my flesh would rather worry or be sad or try to fix the problem or whatever, bringing Him the sacrifice of praise is the first step in getting my head out of my me-centered clouds.

She's 11 months now. And she has A Curl.

And evidence in that little back that she's no featherweight

What A Dad!!

What happy daughters! (And nicely mown grass!)

Love those hands, love that man

Still playing with my food. This didn't turn out like I hoped. I only had one option for a blue background and it just didn't click. But it was fun making a squash sea-monster!

965 a pair of cardinals in our back yard, on our back porch! such a very, very rare sight

966 1030pm - 5am: got to sleep through!

968 golden, sparkling summer sun flickering through pear tree leaves and branches...magical, beautiful, holy...

969 sky blue, blue sky

970 picking up the kids' toys today for them, just to bless them

971 little ones beginning to conquer old, hard habits

972 getting my hands into some summer produce

973 Fredericksburg peaches - the radiant color, intoxicating scent, sticky dripping on my hands...

974 the cracking sound of the watermelon rind after I sawed it in half today for the girls

975 senses, with which to take in all God's blessings

976 kitchen window candle burning in the dark of early morning

977 J.G., who gave me the candle

978 a few mornings lately when I've had more time than usual to unfold...journal a few lines, start the coffee, read, pray...

979 time in the car on a family day trip for BB and me to talk and reconnect

980 kids who traveled well enough that we could have such good conversation

981 that what truly needs to get done, gets done
*
Feeling rather quiet here these days. The Mercies keep coming, of course, but my heart is quiet, mulling over ideas, trying to really learn all God wants to teach me.

How are you feeling, now that we are all halfway through this summer?

Summer {edited}

2011-06-23T17:49:00.002-05:00

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake.

Psalm 23:2-3

My big two girls are off on a wonderful adventure with grandparents. Before long, we will get to see all their photos, documenting the things they've seen and done.

Back home, I'm taking advantage of the unusual change in dynamics to observe and enjoy these four.

Today was a nice (though short...it's so hot) walk and some popsicles on the back porch.

God has refreshed my soul.

He stands ready to care for you, too!
*
{Edit - for my own memory's sake:

- CA usually dresses herself...the pretty striped dress and white sandals were all her. And, she'll ride way ahead if we don't rein her in

-MK on scooter beside CA: not a random arrangement. MK is very watchful, protective of her sisters and was vigilant about being on CA's "street side" throughout our walk. MK also prefers dresses and skirts. She's wearing the outfit MaMa gave her for her birthday here.

-LC is very observant and enjoyed looking all around on the ground for nature finds. She was rewarded for her looking: two half eggshells, several lovely colorful leaves, two small flowers (how on earth they survive this intense heat and drought??), and, an interesting rock.

-CA joined in the searching. For all of about 60 seconds. She found a leaf and wanted in on the photo-action.

-We'd had juice popsicles earlier on the porch. It was CJ's first time with one. She liked it, but tired quickly of trying to hold on to the icy treat, and promptly it became a sticky, nasty mess. But so cute.

2011-06-20T00:31:00.001-05:00

To dad...

(Thanks to mom for labeling photos and making family picture albums!)

Some of my earliest memories of dad...

...his letting me climb up onto the front bumper of our old road-stripe orange Suburban while he did mechanic-work on it. I'd have my tools - a screwdriver, usually, because naturally, they are required for most car repairs. I'd stand there by him and join him in his work, taking out screws and putting them back in, that is when I didn't lose them first.

I always got up early in the mornings and can remember finding dad seated on the carport with his Bible on his lap. He would welcome me and we'd talk and visit for awhile after that. Such a good thing to have stamped in my memory.

Whenever I rode with him in his early 70's royal blue Datsun, I'd put my hand under his on the gearshift and love the rumble, but the helping him drive part of it, that was the best.

My childhood home. Love those azaleas and dogwoods. There's the old Datsun.

He made me take swim lessons. It was one of those tough love things, because I was terrified of the water and of the lessons themselves. Eventually, I became competent in the water, thanks to dad's forcing me to try the lessons again and again. One time, he promised a reward when my sister and I passed our classes. She wasn't nearly the scaredy cat I was, which made me a tad envious. But anyway, we did both pass that particular swim session, and so, after class that Saturday, he took us out to The Peking Restaurant. Eating out was treat enough, but The Peking! Chinese! This was big time. I'll never forget it. We sat in a red booth up near the front of the restaurant, by the windows.

Dad and mom were my Sunday school teachers when I was in kindergarten. Two memories stand out from those days. The first one is of a time I was bratty and pitched a tantrum, mostly, I think, because I wanted my parents all to myself. The second memory is of the time he was teaching us about Jacob. Dad came in dressed in his bathrobe, bare-legged and all, as I remember it, talked about Jacob in the wilderness and how he lay down with a stone under his head to sleep. Except dad didn't use a stone. It was some kind of flat toolbox he had, but we all pretended it was a rock, of course, and Dad laid down on the floor and went on to teach us about Jacob's amazing stairway to heaven dream.

Visiting my newborn brother in the hospital. We were over the moon about having a brother!!

Mom and dad sacrificed a lot so that my sister and I could attend a Christian school when we were little girls. When I was in first grade, I got in trouble in class. Oh, yeah, big trouble. The teacher gave me a Conduct Sheet. Oh. Dear. My parents are going to make me move out! But they might spank me a lot before they kicked me out, I worried. With fear and trembling, I gave the conduct sheet to my parents, so they could know from the teacher's hand all about my offense. Dad looked it over. And sent me on my way. I guess he didn't feel that talking in class without raising my hand wasn't a red flag for future rebellion. Whew.

When I was in eighth grade, during my first year at public school, our whole history class was required to do a project that would be entered in the history fair. I had a passion for aviation and jets and such at the time, and so I chose to write about the history of flight. For my display, I constructed two airplane models, and it was dad who showed me how build and paint them. But that's not the best part of that memory...

I was 15 here, sporting some really short hair!

I actually placed when it came time to give awards. It wasn't first place or anything, but how exciting to get a ribbon! And it meant I got to go to the next level. It ended up that I got to go to the state competition with my little project. It was decided that dad would take me to the state history fair, held down at our state capital city, and that we'd make an overnight of it. Oh, the thrill! That turned out to be a real adventure, especially when we left and drove a good bit of the two-hour trip without the research paper portion of my project. And I left my curling iron on, too. A 13 year old gal's gotta make sure the bangs are coiffed just so for these events. In the end, we had to find a pay phone, call our neighbors to break in through a window at our house, turn off the curling iron, grab the research paper and meet us halfway back. The project had to be set up by a certain time at the fair, so it was all very exciting and scary for me.

We made it in time and set up my project. That night we ate at Cracker Barrel, such a special memory. The next day we returned to the history fair and saw I'd earned an honorable mention for my efforts. But mostly, it was all a priceless memory made with my dad.

Dad holding LC as a newborn, July 2004, with EG right beside him.

I could go on and on with memories. I suppose I already have.

God gave me a dad who never knew his own dad. He gave me a dad who loves Jesus. He has always had such a tender heart toward his children: me, my sister close in age to me, and our younger brother. I love it that he always wanted us around, no matter what he was doing. And I am still amazed at the way he always treasured our little gifts and crafts made for him, and our silly plays, and the way he let us ~~pull~~ style his hair.

Dad treasures relationships and it shows in the way he lives in them. His heart is passionate for his family and for time spent together. Sometimes when I call or he calls me, he says, It's just good to hear your voice. Wow. And it's wonderful to hear you say that is what my heart says back. He and mom have been through so.very.much. these past few years. Truly God has allowed them to pass through the fire in many ways and in the end, dad has continued seeking God and has continued pursuing closer relationships with all of us.

Thank you, dad, for the way you've always loved us. It's a blessing to call you my friend - a true friend who knows my heart. Thank you for being faithful to Jesus, to mom, to your family. I love you.
*
And thank You, Father, that I've known the devoted love of an earthly father...

Dad and me on Gotcha Day, May 4, 2011 at the courthouse together to finalize AH's adoption.

A Few Mercies

2011-06-16T23:16:00.000-05:00

Praise the LORD.

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;

His love endures forever.

Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the LORD

or fully declare His praise?

Psalm 106:1-2

943 sunflowers, picked from the side of the road by mom

944 that ray of summer sun in my kitchen in the evening

945 clothing on the floor

946 being humbled

947 mom's dates with each of the girls - one on one - special memories made

948 late loud suppers, often at 8 pm

949 okra. fried.

950 everyone passing their levels at swim this year

951 the trains that roar by during swim lessons - they're just part of the summer experience for me

952 special new friends made during the course of this year's swim session - a neat mom, her triplets and younger daughter

953 vbs: a breeze and a tent on those 100 degree evenings (that's our tent in the background behind the brave little verbena...we held vbs in that empty lot, across from a row of houses in a large neighborhood)

954 our pastor (above), who loves Christ and loves people

955 moonlight through the blinds so bright in my face at bedtime

956 the moon was a ghostly galleon, tossed upon cloudy seas...this morning, 530am, standing outside, gazing up at His moon...thin clouds scudding past the full perfect circle...a ghostly galleon indeed: breathtaking

957 kissing him in the kitchen on Sunday morning, before the kids woke up

958 bits of childhood: restored

959 an old movie, seated beside my best friend on the couch, having a treat and coffee last night - so, SO rare these days!

960 my sister who made our solo-flying dad a really nice lunch for work today

961 unfinished, yes, even sometimes untouched to-do lists (that one's hard)

962 daddy's daylilies, sent to mama and all the girls this week

963 This picture of what Christ has done for me: The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are, and when I see the blood, I will pass over you. Exodus 12:13

964 Baby: crossed ankle contentment

AH took this photo - I think she has a knack for good composition!

She snapped this one, too. LC is demonstrating how sedentary my children are. Ha. I NEVER had the energy and perpetual-motion busyness that my kids exhibit!

Raise your hand if you HEART fried okra, any kind of okra, like I do. If you don't like it or haven't tried it, you are missing out. Couldn't resist photographing the deliciousness next to the rest of that night's supper.

Miss Dimple Wimple, modeling this sweet smock, which I snapped up from Margo's Etsy shop.

Okay, okay, just one more cute baby shot? She looks quite posed, doesn't she? It's because she is so happy when sisters spoil her with wagon rides. This time it was EG doing the wagon-pulling.
*
So, I'm coming up on 1,000 Mercies, y'all! I've decided to celebrate God's goodness with something different and fun here for you...stay tuned!

And to all a good weekend!

I'm out tomorrow, taking mom away for good eats and good conversation!

2011-06-13T00:35:00.001-05:00

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power,

together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp

how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,

and to know this love that surpasses knowledge...

Ephesians 3:17-19

Did y'all think I was never coming back?

My head is spinning with the crazy-happy-intense-exhausting-meaningfulness of this life God has me living. I can't wait to share about vbs and of course, the adoption party, but wow, I cannot blog at the speed of life!

Nutshell: God was so faithful regarding vbs. He strengthened me - and boy, did I need it! He gave me courage and Words. Such a privilege to carry the gospel of Jesus Christ out. We actually had fewer kids each night of the three nights I taught, but that was God's plan and I can rest in that, and pray He blesses His Word spoken.

Saturday a week ago we discovered that two of the girls had lice. Mom arrived Sunday to us stripping linens off beds and hot-washing everything, as well as treating heads of course.

Alas, our first attempt at ~~treating~~ killing the lice was a bust. A few of the girls are now up to three treatments. Anyway, Saturday I/we devoted the whole day to attacking the problem to the nth degree. I am praying this is it. But I am also thanking God for lice. He makes no mistake! I'm thanking Him for MOM, too. Oh, dear, we could never have dealt with the lice, the laundry, and everything else, plus vbs last week all by ourselves. Providence!

I am SO happy that Ninja Boy brought such delight to you all. She is going strong - the whip and mask are clean and ready to go for tomorrow's Ninja adventures. I feel very safe knowing Ninja Boy is here to protect us all.

Oh, I included the scripture at the very top because I prayed it for you all, asking God to give you power to grasp the enormity of the love of Jesus for you.

More nutshell: the past few weeks have been extra-tough in the all-of-us-are-adjusting department...there are elements of adoption that are just.so.hard. But God is faithful and His ways and His truth are so powerful and He encourages me and He strengthens us to keep at it all...the loving, the re-training, the counseling, the helping each girl learn what it means to respond to all of life in keeping with God's will and ways and commands.

What amazes and delights me is the number of times a week (a day, sometimes!) the gospel of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ is coming out of my (our) mouth! It's all of the Spirit, but man, when I go to correct one of the children and the conversation turns to their need for a Savior and God gives me Words. Wow. May He draw them all to Himself and grant true belief and true repentance, every grace that brings [them] nigh! (from Come Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy).

Well, it is very late and I'll wrap this up. I do hope to pick back up with the mercy-list and more as time allows.

Oh, and I finally added my email address in the sidebar!

Ninja Boy {The Mercy of Sweet Laughter on Hard Days}

2011-06-05T09:17:00.001-05:00

(*update regarding the baby rabbit pictured later on...we spotted him today! he's alive and hoppin'! This is a blessing. I'd asked the Lord to show me what to do with him - let him go or try to raise him, and it's wonderful to see confirmation of God's guidance.)

Sarah said, God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.

Genesis 21:6

Meet Ninja Boy. The mask helps disguise her true identity (that's why I told you up front who this is). Ninja Boy carries a whip to help her deal with the bad guys. Oddly enough, the whip resembles a long shoestring, but I am sure that's just part of the whole stealth package.

Here, the honorable Ninja strikes a more intimidating pose, with a hint of carefree confidence.
Can I just say what a blessing our crazy, off the wall CA is?! She is so hilarious and has us laughing all the time.

This was an attempt at a tough-and-angry face. I loved it that she posed for me at all. I already had some quotes of hers to post, so after she played Ninja and I got these photos, I thought they were perfect with her funny sayings...

This one was just uber-cute. Look at those eyes. When she was tiny, her sisters all called her Miss Big Eyes.

Anyway, the quotes...

At supper the other night: Does Chuy's (Mexican restaurant) have escargot? [What?!] Of course, we all just cracked up.

Here Ninja Boy was taking out a bad guy she encountered walking through the living room. MK ran by Ninja Boy, but the ever-sneaky Ninja attacked before MK knew what hit her. MK cried out, "But I'm just the messenger boy!" Ninja Boy's response: "Too late. I kill messenger boys." (yes, know that I'm redirecting the killing talk...I'm not quite sure where she's getting the Ninja bit, but what a sweet happiness CA brings to us all! Thank you Lord for her!)

The other night CA prayed before supper, to thank God for the food. Included in her prayer, with total seriousness: ...and thank You, God, that I have a mommy and daddy to boss me around...

Gotta smile!

Fresh vegetables. Madeline washed, dried, and put them away. We loved the orange and green, the different shapes.

Baby rabbit we found in our backyard last week. It was fun and exciting to see him up close while I googled whether to let him go or make an attempt at raising him.

We let him go. Small as he was, everything I read said he was about big enough to already be on his own. If he was still a mama's boy, then the best thing was to put him back where we found him, hoping the mother would come for him at night.

Goings On

2011-06-02T19:25:00.000-05:00

When it came time for lunch on Saturday, I was down to nine children. We sat down to eat and while the kids had macaroni and leftover chili (not in the same bowl, mind you), I read them these books. It's neat to see the reactions in little ones who have not heard Bible stories. I love to ask them what they think is going to happen next. My girls chose these three - one based on Jesus' story about the rich fool, who hoarded his riches; the next one about the great catch of fish - the time when Jesus told the disciples to put their nets on the other side of the boat; and lastly, we read the story of faithful Daniel, obedient to God to the point of being willing to die.

Most of the time the ministry God calls me to is centered in my home, either directly to my children and husband, or things like the babysitting day or letters and emails of encouragement going out. Sometimes, there's a meal to prepare for others, or I might meet with a friend for Bible study and coffee.

But next week, I have the special privilege of teaching at vacation Bible school. I've never done this before! And our church is doing it differently this year, taking it out to four separate locations in our city, parks and fields and such, with the goal of taking the gospel and love of Jesus Christ to the people. I am excited. And nervous! I would really appreciate your prayers that I'll have God's words those three nights and that He will prepare hearts for salvation.

And here we are, several weeks into summer. The days are filled with discipling kids, training kids, doing housework, schooling AH and LC (their homeschooling fell behind that last month of school and we are catching up, working on academics three days a week or so), errands and playing. I do love the happy, free playing of summertime.

We are really excited, though, because we are welcoming a guest on Sunday! It's my mom, coming to stay for 2.5 weeks. She will love on each girl in a big way, and it'll be a great blessing to have her here next week while vacation Bible school is happening. And then, (don't read this part, mom), I hope to take mom out for mother-daughter time!

EG reading a book on Hercules

AH reading Stepping Heavenward

LC, EG, AH holding pretty farmer's market eggs. Better light would've shown the lovely delicate shades...greens, tans, browns

924 baby's silhouette, crawling by..so funny and sweet...I could not see her, only her sweet, chubby shadow from where I was

925 the way Baby's hair grows to a way off-center point on the nape of her neck

926 hearing of a little quiet normalcy for my parents

927 hard, hard talks with AH

928 that blessed ray of golden evening light that shoots through my kitchen in the summertime

929 AH cracking up as she balanced on CA's training wheels, with CA pedaling like crazy...beautiful!

930 learning to play Ninja with the girls...I was laughing so hard it hurt! (it's a silly smack each other with karate chops game)

931 LC's beautiful fingernails

932 cookies! made by EG and MK! and a sweet note included!

933 an extra heart, hands, and eyes to help me out here a few days a week - Thank You, Lord for Miss C!

934 mk's migraine was short and mild today

935 she's so willing to take her meds for it as soon as the first symptoms appear

936 that we have meds for it

937 new glasses

938 clean teeth

939 no cavities

940 gifted rosebush planted

941 that hard.working.man.

942 getting to make a cake today (for the hard.working.man.)
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The Cookies and silly me -

Serving on the Fly

2011-05-28T11:28:00.000-05:00

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

I Peter 4:9

I don't know if some impromptu babysitting counts as hospitality, but I am glad for the random opportunities God gives us to serve and bless others. And I love that this CRAZY life we've lived for years now (I count the years since CA was born and the insomnia years started - the insomnia's over, but there's never really been a settling since then, no solid routine or predictability) have taught us a beautiful skill: flexibility.

Last night, our family of believers here in Texas gave us a beautiful outdoor party celebrating AH's adoption. The love and happiness, the summer sun, the prayers answered and souls gathered...it'll take me some time to fully feel the blessedness of that night and of our situation.

We left the park after 9pm, with exhausted, dirty, happy children, and plans for a spontaneous slumber party: all the girls had gone back and forth between me and Mrs. M late in the evening, begging us to let her E (same name as my E) come spend the night. My four oldest and E all slept in one bedroom and BB and I made it to sleep by midnight.

Baby awoke at 1am - teething is not her friend. Baby and I spent an hour or so hanging out, rocking, having a bottle.

Up around 6am with BB, when we each started our day in the Word and prayer. It was nice and quiet, since the girls slept later than usual, due to playing hard at the party and staying up too late.

BB ran and got us breakfast tacos. Fifteen of them. Then he was off to help our neighbors move today. I stool looking out the window at them all out front, thinking, What can I do to help? Then I saw our neighbors' two youngest children playing out front. Text message to BB, then two little girls on my doorstep, for as long as they need to be here. AH is in heaven - oh, how she loves babies and little ones, in this case, a 20 month old cutie that she gets to mother for the day.

Another text message from BB: W's kids are coming over too. Bring it on! Knock on the door, another boy and girl join the fray. That's 11. That's when I had to take the photo.

Before too long, E had to go home, and some of the neighbors' kids have been in and out, and then yet another down-the-street little girl has come to play.

Oh, and once while BB had come back over for some reason, the man next door came and rang the bell. There he stood with a gift bag in hand, a little something from him and his wife for the girls, all because AH recently wrote a kind thank you and made a lovely craft to express gratitude to them for throwing the girls' balls back over the fence to them. Love the connections made.

And it's only 11am.

Oh, Lord that You would multiply these connections, bless them and be glorified. May we shine for You, speaking Your gospel, living Your love to everyone. We pray that others would learn of You as, by Your grace, we live for You....

What spontaneous opportunities might God have for you today? There is much joy in saying yes to Him.

Mercy #923: The Gift of a Getaway

2011-05-25T00:53:00.002-05:00

A few months ago, BB's dad and his wife emailed us, saying they'd like to work it out so we could have a long weekend away together. Here is how it went!

Granddad and BB (we'll call her Grandma BB for clarity's sake) flew in on a Thursday (flew in! to babysit my six!), which was EG/MK's last day of school. The next morning, BB and I left early with a packed suitcase. I took him to work, then was off to a couple of appointments and errands all by myself. I had a few moments before my first appointment and slipped into a place we call The Secret Garden and spent time with flowers and the Nikon. What a treat!

That afternoon, I got so many long-overdue errands handled, by myself, such as going to a very out of the way post office to deal with our non-functioning mailbox key (as in, we couldn't check our mail regularly). While there, they showed me the current stamp designs. Oh, wow. Love stamps. Love mail. I bought 4 little sheets, all different kinds...even had a cash card from a rebate, so it really didn't cost me anything!

In the interest of maximizing our time on this amazing opportunity to be just the two of us, we chose to just stay at a hotel locally. I checked in by myself. First order of business: clean out the purse! Another one of those things that isn't a priority most of the time. Ahhh, what a relief.

Got to eat lunch by myself before checking in. What an enormous blessing, to have have a chunk of the day alone. It really allowed me to be relaxed and ready to just enjoy BB. By nature, I recharge by being alone, and as you can imagine, that's a rare occurrence around here!

Keeping it simple: for breakfast and lunch on Saturday, we just went to the grocery store and got a little of this and a little of that and ate it in our room and talked in the quiet.

Cheese, crackers, olives, plastic forks and knives. It was all good. We had some really wonderful conversations. During this little lunch, we told each other ten things we are thankful for in each other.

Got to have dinner at a favorite downtown spot. We took a short walk while we waited to be seated.

Coming back home to the sweet craziness that is our family. Oh, I cannot thank Granddad and Grandma BB enough times and with adequate words for the gift they gave us and the children, because not only did the time away allow us some quiet and rest and reconnecting time, the kids had a really special and fun weekend with their grandparents.

Knowing the children had such a happy time was wonderful by itself, but then to see the surprise that Granddad orchestrated for me...he took the five big girls to the store and they chose flowers for me, then helped plant them! What a blessing. I joke to people that my love language is spoken in flowers and in food.

Granddad and Grandma BB took them to a park that is situated on a lovely, calm creek. Parts of the park are under interstate bridges. Granddad walked them up so that they could put their hands on the bridge and feel the traffic above. Adventures!

Sweet photo of CA and Granddad

Those splendid flowers. They are thriving and bringing me joy every day.

And since I've already put a gob of photos here today, why not one more? Dimple Wimple is 10 months. She's getting closer to walking and she is imitating words and sounds we make. After Granddad and Grandma BB left last Monday, I let the kids play in the sprinklers for a while. CJ loves splashing!

Thank you, Granddad and BB. Thank you so much!

And thank You, Lord, for such lavish and undeserved mercies...

Summer Memory Snapshots {tiny edit}

2011-05-18T09:40:00.002-05:00

May the Name of God be praised forever and ever,

for wisdom and power belong to Him.

He changes the times and seasons;

He removes kings and establishes kings.

He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge

to those who have understanding.

Daniel 2:20-21

Memory snapshots -

Summer 2009: me clinging to my cell phone, terrified I'll miss a call, strolling the park next to the girls' swim lessons, begging God to let us hear something, anything about AH. You see, before she was placed with my parents, there was an excruciating 11 days during which none of us were allowed any contact with her whatsoever. Day after day elapsed, each of us crying out to God for her safety and protection, and for news. In the end, we traveled Back Home, knowing God wanted us there, but still not knowing whether AH would be placed with my parents. A very tense, uncertain situation. A few days after arriving Back Home, God orchestrated the most unbelievable deliverance for her and on Father's Day weekend, she came to mom and dad's, and we were all together.

Summer 2010: a year gone by...I'm back at swim lessons, very great with child. Still waiting for a call, still glued to my cell, because by then, adoption had become an official possibility. And though AH was still safe with my parents, it had been a draining, dramatic, and sometimes devastating roller coaster of a year for everyone. So we lived each day, waiting for Baby to come and waiting to hear that AH would come, too. It was not to be - she would not be born into our family for many more months.

Summer 2011: School's out. I have six children. And while it's been a crazy intense nearly crushing life for a while now, I am entering this summer with a hopefulness and sigh of relief that has not been a part of this season for two years. And swim lessons start in about two weeks for five little girls I know.

Blessed be the Name of the Lord. Job 1:21

And, oh, the heavy grace God has sent in all of this crush and intensity! I can't wait to tell you what He did for us, sending someone to refresh us all...A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. Proverbs 11:25

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(Ann Voskamp posted this the other day and it was such a beautiful reminder of part of God's sovereign purpose in the crushing.)

912 hours outside with the children, in the sun

913 CA the fairy, fluttering in the evening light through the back yard, ~~arms~~ wings flapping

914 a dishwasher load of clean dishes, loaded by other hands

915 BB: wanna come out and watch me work? me: yes!

916 his excitement over a great project idea

917 AH, also a fairy, flitting along behind CA in the back yard, following the boss fairy's instructions...that is a healing scene, to be sure...a bit of childhood regained, a choosing to bless someone else, and receiving joy in return

918 a windowbox full of flowers...the thoughtfulness of the buyer, the sweetness of his making it a project for the kids, and for me...

919 a still moment with EG, both of us savoring Baby's sleepy face as she sat in her high chair after lunch

920 MK's absolute delight with her younger siblings' antics and personalities

921 the tiny, sweet smack-smack of Baby's hands - she's learned to clap her happiness

922 figuring out how to do better closeups with my camera!

2011-05-15T00:06:00.000-05:00

Well, it's going to take more than one post to catch up on family life!

More photos and notes...

It was such a joy preparing for company - my dear friend from Iowa blew through with her husband on a whirlwind trip. To get their room ready, I got a bouquet of flowers from Costco, took it apart, and was able to make 4 separate arrangements from it, to enjoy throughout the house.

Look, look! There we are, sweet S and me. We had such a wonderful time catching up. I am so thankful they were willing to detour at our place for the night!! (oh, and EG took the photo for us)

A fun way to use some of the extra sprigs from the Coscto bouquet

EG did an experiment for school, too. Her question was Which cereal has the most added (supplemental) iron? I was really curious how this would turn out. She chose 5 different cereals, each with different percentages of iron listed on the Nutrition Facts panel.

She put a cup of cereal and a cup of water into the blender. Of course, everyone was involved to some degree. CA was all about digging marshmallows out of the store-brand Lucky Charms.

The soupy mixture is technically called slurry (oh, we all learned a lot!). By holding a magnet to the side of the cup while stirring, it's possible to collect at least some of the supplemental iron from the slurry! Yep, guys, that added iron in foods? Remember those toys where there was a face and some iron filings and you took a little magnet pen and dragged the filings onto the face to make a beard and such? That's pretty much what supplemental iron looks like.

Results - as recorded in the journal, of course: only two of the cereals even produced an iron pellet. Grape Nuts and store brand Golden Grahams produced the same size pellets, which was interesting since Grape Nuts' label said it contained 90% of the recommended daily allowance, and the fake Golden Grahams' facts said it had 50% of the RDA of iron. It was a fun experiment...you know, once I got past the project anxiety...

LC loves to be given permission to roam with the camera. Her perspective is funny. What do you think I was saying here? We'll never know for sure, but whatever it was, clearly it was very important. Ha. Oh, and AH took the next shift with the camera.