Friday, December 12, 2014

Waiting on Baby and Declaring God's Goodness

There you go. How about a pop of happy (Texas) summer color for you, here as winter settles in? I feel lighter the longer I look at this one. It was taken two years ago at one of our favorite day-trip spots near Fredericksburg, Texas, at a seed farm.

Today, by my reckoning, I am just over 40 weeks pregnant. Hooray for this event-free, full-term baby-carrying experience. Praise God for this tender mercy.

I am ready to meet her and not be so big anymore, but each day she's in there means more ounces for her and a bit more ready for Christmas for me. I am so grateful to the Lord that we've been able to thoughtfully and calmly enter this Advent and holiday season. But, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't quietly waiting on pins and needles for something to happen: a painful contraction (the usual way my labor begins - a painful contraction or two in a row usually means the real thing is ramping up) or water breaking (this has happened twice, where my water broke minus any contractions and labor never started on its own). We'll see what God's plan is, very shortly!

Everyone's really excited. The girls ask me frequently if I'm having any real contractions or Mom, is this a Twilight Zone day? Strange question, yes, but I have had a weird tradition, if you will, since my first labor, with EG. That day, there was a Twilight Zone marathon on tv. It's one of my favorite shows, and so while the contractions were far apart, but regular and bearable, I watched many episodes in a row. So, ever since then, during the labors where I had a significant number of hours at home, contracting, BB has fixed up the tv or laptop for me (and anyone else around who's cared to watch) to watch my shows.

Once I get to the point where I start pausing the show because I can't comprehend it during the contractions, we all know that things are progressing and BB turns it off. That's when all my energy and attention goes into the labor work.

I thought about placing these sweet pictures of BH at the top of the post, but that would've thrown everyone off a bit at this point, maybe? A bit cheeky of me, perhaps?

Look how little he was! I am excited about doing the tiny-baby experience again/one last time!

On a completely different note, I wanted to praise God for His goodness to me. Recently, I've been facing some pretty complicated and upsetting struggles in the area of relationships. I was desperate to hear from the Lord regarding these things, and I told Him so. I cried out to Him to speak to me and fill me with wisdom and love.

I've been reading through Exodus lately and this passage was beautiful and rich and peace-giving to me:

Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation that the Lord will work for you today...The Lord will fight for you and you only have to be silent. Exodus 14:13,14

I did not know how God would answer my requests for help. You know how it feels in the moment, when emotions are high and the solutions are unclear: how am I going to get through this, do this in a Jesus-honoring way? What do I do? How do I do it?!

But one thing I knew God was saying to me in the above scripture was to just be still and quiet. 

The truth from His Word, His speaking to me was great all by itself, but the coolest thing of all, that I'm so thankful for, is the lavish grace he poured out on me to enable me to be still and quiet. It was such an obvious departure from my usual way - I so often say so many, too many words, even if just internally. You know, the fretting, anxious kind - that I can only say  I praise you God for giving me the grace to be quiet and still.

And even more beautiful is His allowing me, already, to see fruit and movement in the struggles I'm having and in the relational challenges.

He is faithful and good and wise and present!

Thank You for loving me, Lord!
And just for fun, more BH cuteness....

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