Sunday, August 24, 2014

Should I Be Concerned?

I mean, this looks an awful lot like the Stuff of Life, doesn't it? Gross.

I am happy to say it is not blood, and I was aware that food coloring was being used in the house, but when I came upon this - eek! looking. Who got hurt here?!

Whilst I was attending to other things in the home, LC asked if she and some of her sisters could do an experiment with food coloring. I consented.

I also came upon this some time later, once the experimentation was complete:

Microscope. Recyclables. Stains. Stains everywhere.

But I do love it that they were learning and playing. LC cleaned up, mostly. I took a bowl of bleach and water to the countertop stains the next morning, so they're all gone now.

The girls watched these two vases for a couple of days to see if the food coloring would draw up into the petals, and they were rewarded with blue tinged (very wilted) crepe myrtle flowers, and a bright red-edged rose.

We finished our first week of classes at our new school. It was good. There's been chaos, yes, but it is the kind that will be worked out. One big change is how much of the older kids' assignments are computer/internet dependent, so we are working through the best ways to share our computers among everyone. Then there's the newness factor - something that throws us all a bit, but isn't bad and isn't permanent. I am encouraged so far by what I am seeing and hearing regarding this school and by the general atmosphere.

I felt kind of rattled, for my part, on our homeschool days this first week. This is weird, because I wasn't sensing much anxiety or concern in myself at all as we got those days started. I wonder if this is partly due to memories of harder times. We've been through some super-chaotic, rather dysfunctional, very messy homeschool days/seasons in the past. Most of what made it hard was just life - weird combinations of circumstances and struggles that just were. And we muddled through and look! We are all whole and growing and appropriately educated. But, man, those were some exhausting, seemingly (seemingly!) not-so-fruitful days and maybe there's fear that was pushing up, asking to be entertained as we set out to homeschool this week.

We are not the same now as we were during those darker days. I am not the same as I was then. I'm not a different person, but rather God's grown me into more of the person He means me to be, and our family is more authentic individually and corporately for having walked through the hard times.

All glory to the Healer who does not leave me as I am, but is at work to conform me into the image of Jesus and to finish the good work He's begun in me. And this is an interesting circle in my thinking, since that very truth is the scripture chosen by the girls' new school as their verse for this academic year:

...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

And can I say something about failure and feeling like a loser when it comes to Love? While I don't need to wallow in perfectionistic despair over my inadequacies, it is right to be aware and sad over my sinning heart, especially if it spurs me to repentance and dependence on Perfection. I was quietly encouraged in my spirit this week as I considered and believed His Sufficiency to be enough.

He has done all things well, and has done them on my behalf - He represents me before God in all His obedience and love and righteousness and these are His gift to those who trust Him. And God is pleased. God is satisfied.

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