Texas and the Big Move

Miss ME and I got to take a little jaunt out west from Saturday to Monday. On my way out of TX, I stopped to browse the ever-pompous and delightful t-shirt selection at the airport. This was my favorite.

Given that Baby is such a smiling, uncomplicated little thing, I wasn't anxious about traveling with her, but you never know. I prayed she'd do well, and hoped the air travel wouldn't hurt her ears.

This was her state in the airport before we boarded to go to Texas:

Once on the plane, she mostly relaxed in my lap....

I mean, she really relaxed. Slept most of the 2 hour flight, and I got to read! What a treat!

God graced us with such strong and beautiful relationships during our nine years in Texas. We traveled there last weekend to attend a wedding. Our dear friends' daughter was married on Sunday, on her parents' and grand parents' anniversary.

There are five kids in their family, three of whom are girls (young ladies now, women, actually), all of whom babysat our children many times.

The happy bride and groom planned a beautiful, simple ceremony and celebration. The weather was horrible, awful, wet, and thunderous the morning of the festivities, but God in His tender mercy allowed it to all clear off before the evening wedding. I always get emotional at weddings, because I'm transported back to my own big day, and am reminded of the blessedness of marriage.

I got to see many precious friends while away. The time there was bittersweet. So much for which to give thanks to God, and still sad over the loss of regular in-person contact with our Texas people.

Driving around and not being or feeling lost was a treat, too, I have to say. I have not figured our new area out yet, when it comes to navigating and all that.

As we headed back east from Texas, Baby once again confirmed her easy going status by napping twice on the flight home. She proved to be quite the charmer, striking up sweet little baby talk conversations with lots of people, all of whom seemed more than glad to chat it up with my little baby doll.

So we made it home safely. Thanks be to God. What an honor and blessing to get to make the trip and to connect with others...

And now, it's back to life here. This is a big part of what we did this week:

It's been all about final packing, organizing, cleaning at the new house, making small move-in improvements there, while trying to maintain a bit of normalcy here at the old house - naps and playtime and books read to little ones. On that note, a funny quote, and a testament to my amazing big kids, who are so kind to read to the little ones a lot: today, MK offered to read to the younger set. CJ came to her, semi-whining and asked, Do I have to listen to Hamlet again?! It's not really what I expect to hear my four year old saying, but how fun is that, that she even knows what Hamlet is, and that it's because her big sister reads to her so much (that one is from a children's version of Shakespeare's works). This is all extra-special to me because I do not love reading aloud to the kids.

So tomorrow and the next day are IT: the big move! I'll be honest - I feel completely overwhelmed by it at the moment! But we've been provided a home by our God and He's not overwhelmed at all...

At the Hospital

I'm writing today from the hospital, but I am glad to say that...

1-I'm NOT the patient, and

2-BB is the patient. He is recovering after an angiogram, which went very well, and the initial report is that all looks good in his head - the doctors saw nothing of concern. We will still need to follow up with the neurosurgeon, just to get his take once he reviews the test, but we're praising God that this problem seems to be going away.

We are thankful that BB's mom was able and willing to make the little road trip here to hang out with the kids today!

The days seem more full lately, but I don't think they really are. What's actually happening is that I'm slowing down substantially, so the days are less productive and efficient - you know, all those things that go away for a time at the end of pregnancy and the first months of new-baby life. Sleep is becoming poor and it's God's way of getting me ready for our new reality.

We are excited about Baby, whose e.t.a. is now only a month away! I'm soaking up the treat of feeling her inside and am also enjoying the normalcy of this pregnancy, compared to the last.

This past weekend, BB took the big kids Back Home to work on a building project for his mom. The three youngest and I held down the fort together...

 We watched a movie together, and I loved it when BH put his arm around me. Of course, when I went to snap the photo, he got all cheesy on me!

 Just kickin' back with mom and sisters...

 Mr. Affectionate - even held my hand during our movie. Sweetness.

 CA had been begging for a tea party, so we made one happen while it was just the four of us, using the real china and prodigious amounts of sugar from the sugar bowl. Oh, and Little Debbies - something I never buy. A good time was had by all.

 CA saw buttons and pipe cleaners while we were shopping at Walmart, and decided it would be lovely to craft with them, so I catered to that. They've had a blast making and remaking the "jewelry" you see here.

 Unrelated to the weekend, but noteworthy to me: my first efforts at preparing food ahead of time for the post-partum weeks. I did not do this with CJ and I could not do this with BH, so it feels good to be back to my old self, in a sense, regarding ways I like to prepare for births. This was the beginnings of chicken tetrazzini, one of my favorite comfort foods. (I finished and froze 4 pans of it last night - 3 for the freezer and one for tonight's supper, hooray!)

I also love the juxtaposition of things that's always a reality in my full house: I found a place where I could sit to do the chopping, and shared the spot with my Bible, my planner, two plastic vehicles and some random papers.

 From last week: the kids and I made a picnic supper and met BB at this crazy-cool art park not too far from our house (well, without traffic it's not far). It was dusky and cool, but the kids all played on the artform-play equipment and then we ate our supper in the chilly air, in the dark before leaving.

CA wanted to pose by this pretty leaded glass window that was part of the slide-scuplture. Beautiful and fun!

Should I Be Concerned?

I mean, this looks an awful lot like the Stuff of Life, doesn't it? Gross.

I am happy to say it is not blood, and I was aware that food coloring was being used in the house, but when I came upon this - eek! Pretty...um...violent looking. Who got hurt here?!

Whilst I was attending to other things in the home, LC asked if she and some of her sisters could do an experiment with food coloring. I consented.

I also came upon this some time later, once the experimentation was complete:

Microscope. Recyclables. Stains. Stains everywhere.

But I do love it that they were learning and playing. LC cleaned up, mostly. I took a bowl of bleach and water to the countertop stains the next morning, so they're all gone now.

The girls watched these two vases for a couple of days to see if the food coloring would draw up into the petals, and they were rewarded with blue tinged (very wilted) crepe myrtle flowers, and a bright red-edged rose.

We finished our first week of classes at our new school. It was good. There's been chaos, yes, but it is the kind that will be worked out. One big change is how much of the older kids' assignments are computer/internet dependent, so we are working through the best ways to share our computers among everyone. Then there's the newness factor - something that throws us all a bit, but isn't bad and isn't permanent. I am encouraged so far by what I am seeing and hearing regarding this school and by the general atmosphere.

I felt kind of rattled, for my part, on our homeschool days this first week. This is weird, because I wasn't sensing much anxiety or concern in myself at all as we got those days started. I wonder if this is partly due to memories of harder times. We've been through some super-chaotic, rather dysfunctional, very messy homeschool days/seasons in the past. Most of what made it hard was just life - weird combinations of circumstances and struggles that just were. And we muddled through and look! We are all whole and growing and appropriately educated. But, man, those were some exhausting, seemingly (seemingly!) not-so-fruitful days and maybe there's fear that was pushing up, asking to be entertained as we set out to homeschool this week.

We are not the same now as we were during those darker days. I am not the same as I was then. I'm not a different person, but rather God's grown me into more of the person He means me to be, and our family is more authentic individually and corporately for having walked through the hard times.

All glory to the Healer who does not leave me as I am, but is at work to conform me into the image of Jesus and to finish the good work He's begun in me. And this is an interesting circle in my thinking, since that very truth is the scripture chosen by the girls' new school as their verse for this academic year:

...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

And can I say something about failure and feeling like a loser when it comes to Love? While I don't need to wallow in perfectionistic despair over my inadequacies, it is right to be aware and sad over my sinning heart, especially if it spurs me to repentance and dependence on Perfection. I was quietly encouraged in my spirit this week as I considered and believed His Sufficiency to be enough.

He has done all things well, and has done them on my behalf - He represents me before God in all His obedience and love and righteousness and these are His gift to those who trust Him. And God is pleased. God is satisfied.

Thankful Things

Baby says hello to everyone.

I am thankful for every day that I get to carry this little one inside me. It's a gift, she's a gift.

I am grateful for my coffee in the morning, often with my best friend, my perfect-for-me husband.

Seeing a young hawk with its prey in our back yard the other day was really neat, too, with the kids and I crowding around our back door to get a better look. We were wildlife-starved at our old house, and we're obviously eating these encounters up.

The sun in the morning is a delight. Sometimes when I jog, I go at just the right time to see the sun hanging red above the treeline. Then I lope past these azalea bushes by the roadside, the ones that think it's time to bloom again. Heck, I don't mind! Large, floppy, violet blooms. Y'all go right on being season-confused, Azaleas! Love it.

I am glad for the time I had with the children last week, doing back to school preparations. Our new school has few requirements regarding uniforms, but wearing jeans or khakis is required, and no one really had any jeans. So, I took them out in small groups of 2 or 1 and we shopped and ran errands and had lunch together.

So grateful for the money to buy clothes for the children and for the opportunity for education, and for the fun time I had out with each of them.

I will say that my pregnant body has complained to me about that much walking and standing over the course of last week, but it was worth it, and I had a good nap yesterday that made me feel pretty ready to take on the week ahead.

On my mind lately are heavy things and happy things - the situation with ISIS in the Middle East has me praying, has me sad and concerned.

I am happy that we have precious friends who will daytrip to our house for a long lunch and longer conversation before driving the not-so-short road back to their house. That was Saturday. Good food and blessed fellowship. Oooh, on a light happy note, I made a Grapefruit-Pecan Cake. Oh my. Bliss in cake pan, is all I'm saying...

(Let me be more honest: EG and I made the cake...I did preliminary work and then oversaw her construction of the treat.)

Happy: being able to safely and freely go to church. And, being safe and free in general. Thanks be to God for all these things.

And today school started. It's a new school for us, of course, so we all have back-to-school nerves and this-is-all-new nerves. The kids will be at school most of two days a week and will work from home the other days. The school operates with a focus on the fine arts, which seems to be where most of the brains in this family lean, so I am excited to see where this new approach and focus might take the kids in their learning, direction, interests, and skills.

One of my favorite moments of the day is when we lie down in bed at night. Sometimes the days are so full that that is the first time I've been still enough to concentrate on feeling Baby. So I lie there and wait a bit, and am usually rewarded with a little baby-dancing on the inside. It's extra special to me this time around, partly because I felt this one move so much later that all my others. Then, most nights, I'm fast asleep about 12 seconds later...

Seven! And More...

CA brings up the rear of our summer birthday season. She turned 7 on August 1.

She's all about tree-climbing and bike riding and scootering - things she can do much more freely and easily at our new home and street. Note the fabulous climbing tree in the front yard. It's most beloved by all.

A bit of birthday-treat deja vu here: she wanted the same set up that CJ had for her birthday goodies. She specifically requested gummy bears be among her ice cream topping possibilities. I had a brownie mix on hand, so that was her "cake." I heard no complaints.

BB was able to take the day off on CA's birthday, so he decided to adventure with them on one of our area's greenways - beautiful, long, paved pathways that curve up, down, all around, in the trees, sometimes paralleling and sometimes crossing the river. It's a beautiful course for riding, walking, running.

Little H has been under the weather with respiratory junk, so I had him at the doctor that day.

We had a happy, low-key family day with CA.

She's full of life and energy, this 7 year old. She's all about coloring and changing her earrings and she's nervous about 2nd grade, super-eager to make a friend. When we visit playgrounds and such, she always connects with someone and will fearlessly introduce herself, and has even asked a few of the children and parents where the child goes to school - she's that ready to find a friend here.

Speaking of school, our kids start classes this coming Monday. We have been attending university model schools for the past six years, but our move presented us with different options. The school we found has a lot of similarities in format to our previous ones, except that it has a specific focus on fine arts, which is an area where we see a lot of natural interest and skill in the girls. The oldest 5 will attend school two days a week, and work at home the other days.

I've been busy collecting books and supplies and trying to get our spaces organized for living and for starting a new school year. I think I've mentioned that our new house has far fewer closets and good storage options, so it's been a complete redo and rearranging of books and supplies and everything!

BB and I got to go away (nearby) together for 2 nights last weekend. What a blessing and a treat. We enjoyed some good food and great conversations and rest. It was the first break we have had together in a long time in which he didn't have schoolwork on his plate. Hooray!

While we were gone, however, H's respiratory junk flared up more and we knew he needed to see a doctor. We came home a bit earlier than planned and took Mr. Wheezy to the ER, where, when it was time for him to be seen, he had NO symptoms - no wheezing or crackling or coughing. It makes me a bit crazy, this asthmatic-tendency thing. I'm still trying to learn it and wrap my mind around it all. They sent us home, where I've been using some essential oils and immunity boosters to try to help him get past what was looking like bronchitis setting in.

Today, thanks be to God, he seems to have turned a corner for the better.

Yesterday, I had a prenatal appointment at which they were taking a second look by ultrasound at a couple of potential concerns, one of which (praise to the Lord!) appears to be minimized and no longer a real problem. The other issue has to do with calcification of the placenta, something that has occurred in a few of my other pregnancies. It just means they will monitor the baby's growth a bit more closely month by month, as this condition can restrict baby's nourishment somewhat. Thankfully, my two babies affected by this calcification (unknown causes) were born tiny, but full-term and healthy.

Our summer is coming to an end. I am sad to see it go, but thankful for the flexible space and time we've had and the rest God has given. It feels like part of my summer's challenge was to encourage balance in the kids - playing, working, relaxing, relating, diet...all things that are upset by such huge transition.

I'm also excited about the upcoming school year, optimistic about the kids in their new educational setting and what that will bring for them.

Seems that I alternate between a satisfied feeling regarding our settling in process and a lonely feeling, as we've not yet formed connections here. Our church search continues. School may be a neat place to get to know others. And, my wonderful far-away friends are still very much in place and I love and appreciate that precious support and companionship so much. And I miss it, I miss my Texas connections being physically near! And the familiarity of the usual you know?

It takes a lot of mental energy (for me, at least) to adjust - the usual is gone and we're learning the new normal. Makes my brain and heart a bit weary. There are delights that God sends to refresh my spirit. One example: my laundry room is upstairs and has a window (love it) that overlooks the back yard.

LC got field glasses and a hummingbird feeder for her birthday. After we hung the feeder, we waited for some time before the tiny birds began to sip at the feeder.

So, the other day from my laundry room window, I saw a beautiful golden feathered hummingbird perched on our zipline near the feeder. I called LC and she came running with her field glasses and we both enjoyed watching the little bird up close. He eventually zoomed over and had a drink at the feeder. It was a beautiful, happy moment.

God is good.

Watered

Saturday, we explored.

We packed up some sandwiches and headed for a state park.

When we reached this spot, our destination, I cried.

There is something so alive about a waterfall and about so much green. It was almost painfully beautiful. It's been a long time since I've been surrounded by this kind of natural - the noise of the falls, the life of the forest, all of it.

There was a lot swirling inside me, behind those tears. I don't even understand all of it at the moment. There was this feeling of having needed to be in that spot. There was the raw, therapeutic beauty of the place. My soul has always craved newness, novelty. Taking this in? A wonderfully satisfying freshness.

As this transition east loomed before us months ago, I grieved the change. I still do. But in the midst of the grieving, I had a sense that a turn of seasons was upon me, on us. Of course, I understood that to be more in the figurative sense, but had no idea how literal it would be. After years of intense heat and drought in Texas, we're here in this lush place where the calendar says it's summer, but the thermometer says it is spring. Unreal. A pleasant shock to the system.

Walking up to that waterfall provided a living symbol of what I think I was sensing back then - just like my physical surroundings were edging on desert-like in central Texas, so was the state of my heart and spirit.

Much contributed to my arrival at that dry state - struggles and hard work and crises and everything.

There has been the breaking down that had to precede the building up of my own heart and self.

It seems that this move, this change of scenery, may just be a critical part of my movement out of the dry places.

I am reminded of the verses in the Word that refer to streams in the desert and profuse blooming in places that were once dry, feeling in myself that it is so very time to be watered and to unfold into this new season...

(that's my family in the background :-)

The desert and the parched land will be glad;

The wilderness will rejoice and blossom.

Like the crocus it will burst into bloom; 

It will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.

Strengthen the feeble hands,

Steady the knees that give way;

Say to those with fearful hearts,

"Be strong, do not fear. Your God will come..."

Then the lame will leap like a deer, 

And the mute tongue will shout for joy.

Water will gush forth in the wilderness

And streams in the desert.

The burning sand will become a pool,

The thirsty ground bubbling streams.

Isaiah 35:1-4, 6-7

Summer Thoughts

Say hello to our Tiny Texan. We got to see her during my first prenatal here in our new town, last week. It was the same day as CJ's birthday, so I am just now getting around to showing off Baby Girl.

The Naming War is on. It's a quiet War at this point, as we've each only suggested a few names. We have a history of, ahem, not agreeing at all on names. CJ wasn't named until she was 4 days old.

Not only is this a sweet picture of CA, but it's very symbolic of something God is giving us here during our big transition. He is giving us rest.

I will be honest and say that there were a few things I was dreading and fearing as I anticipated our settling in process here. I was nervous about the change of pace: we were very, very busy connecting with friends for the two months before we moved. I am so grateful for the time spent as a family and as individuals with our different dear ones and special families in Texas. But it was a pace we'd not normally keep, and I just wasn't sure how everyone would react to the drastic difference we'd feel here, where we do not yet have everyday life connections. I didn't know what the feast-to-famine (socially) transition would be like for my people and me.

Secondly, I was worried that all of us being together 24/7 was going to be overwhelming and suffocating. There, I said it. Just keeping it real. We had a good rhythm to life before that included what I think was a healthy balance of togetherness and autonomy (therapy words!) within the house and with outside connections and friendships. We also went right from the scheduled order of the school year straight into packing and saying goodbyes and leaving, so there was that adjustment to factor in as well.

In His tender mercy, Jesus has shown me again how fruitless worry is, and He has done for us quite the opposite of all I feared! This no-man's-land of anonymity combined with the long, open days of summer has resulted a deep, good rest for all of us.

We have found a good summer rhythm rather quickly. It includes work and reading and rest and exercise and play. Our hearts, minds, and bodies were ready, so ready, for rest. I am so thankful for this, and for these carefree days together.

Even more beautiful to me is that this 24/7 thing that scared me is proving to be rich soil in which family bonding and togetherness are growing quite healthily in ways I could not have imagined possible.

Praise God from Whom all blessing flow.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen. Philippians 3:20-21

But wait, there's more!

I laugh inside when I say that because it sounds so much like those cheesy As Seen On TV ads...

In this photo, it was raining. Obviously, that detail did not make it into the image. This is the view from our back porch and I was so refreshed by the green of it all, the rain itself, and that weird paradox we're seeing a lot here: rain falling while the sun is shining. Magical.

This summer has been a surprise to me. It's been bittersweet, lonely, disorienting. But then there's new beauty, body and soul rest. There's simplicity and quiet. And lots of noise, because noisy is how it is in our house, most of the time, especially at meals. We are captivated by the birds and their songs, and by the plants and shade and I praise God for the healing and heart lessons that are occurring.

Miss Dimple Wimple is Four

She was my only birthing center baby, a lovely, simple birth. 13 hours of hard work. And she came out looking just like big sister LC, except with dimples. And so they share a name: CJ goes by LC's middle name.

CJ doesn't dig cake, so we went with ice cream and fun toppings. Sprinkles were used in abundance. You know, once mixed with melting ice cream, sprinkles produce an ugly gray color of ice cream, right? That did not deter our party goers, especially the younger set, from pouring (literally) them on.

It was another low-key day, but sweet for her, for the family. She got to watch Frozen. Twice.

We had hot dogs and cheese puffs for supper and she unwrapped her presents, including a bicycle.

And we played outside until past dark, until the bats came out and the crickets were singing their bedtime song. The children whizzed up and down the driveway at dizzying speeds, miraculously managing to not crash into each other (too much).

Thanking the Lord for four years with CJ and for happy summer nights.

Silly us.

Boots and a Resting Place

You might be able to take the girl out of Texas, 

But you can't take Texas out of the girl.

(CJ, weary during Costco shopping, taking a load off, rocking her awesome Texas boots)

Adventures With Littles

Over the past few days, my big girls and my very fine husband have been away, doing things like this:

This photo courtesy of the LC, using her Granddad's phone.

I wouldn't mind a turn at skiing of some sort, but decided that with my condition (wink) and all, that I'd best pass this time around...

Cliff jumping. Pregnant or not, I will not take a turn at this kind of "fun." To each his own. 

But the photo - gorgeous. Credit for this one goes to BB (not my husband BB - the other BB - the kids' grandma).
And, thankfully, all participants are each still in one happy piece.

From the photos I've received, it's obvious that this was a memorable, exciting, exhausting summer blast for all involved. Thanks to Granddad and BB for hosting everyone!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, as they say, the two littles and I had a just-the-three-of-us weekend.

I may have spoiled them (and myself) just a bit.

I took advantage of the change in dynamics and set to work on a couple of spaces in the house. I decided to get my bathroom clean, organized, and cute, if possible.

A note: with this move, we decided to try an idea we'd been considering for some time and do a bunkroom approach for the girls' sleeping arrangements. As with many homes built in the past 20 years, the master in this and our last house were just huge - way bigger than we needed for the two of us, for sure. So, for now, the five oldest girls are in the master bedroom with its corresponding ginormous bathroom and oversized closet. CJ will join them in the bunkroom in coming months.

BB and I took the largest non-master bedroom. BH and CJ share the nursery, and for the first time in many years we have an extra room, which will function as BB's work from home office and a guest room, hooray!

My point in this aside was just to say that now I have a hallway bathroom, which CJ is quick to remind me is also hers. She comments frequently that we share the bathroom. One big difference between our Texas house and this one is that we had a lot more closets and storage space in our old home. The houses are actually exactly the same size.

So, I've been working out creative and simple (preferably) ways to occupy the different spaces. This weekend, I gave attention to the hallway bathroom. It now has a snappy rug and some ka-pow orange hand towels. See?

It felt good to get a space looking and feeling more homey and orderly.

The two little ones and I also took care of other errands. We procured a birthday present for our next July celebration (that would be Baby H, who's turning 2). Using the God-given blessing of Google Maps, we found many new places such as the post office, where we bought fun stamps and mailed important letters.

Friday night, I took Mr. and Miss Dimple Wimple to the mall nearby during a dreadful downpour. You know, we don't own umbrellas. Never needed them in Texas, sadly. We just ran for it and entered the mall a bit damp.

Here the kids enjoyed their first carousel ride. CJ loved it and wanted to do fancy tricks on her horse while we were in motion. BH was over it and wanted off the ride before it was over.

This morning, we enjoyed a visit to the farmer's market, which sets up each Saturday at the park two blocks from our house. Sweet!

CJ had her heart set on having lemonade, which we'd seen during a previous visit, but had not purchased. I told her we'd have some.

Sadly, it wasn't meant to be. No lemonade. But we did find a fun little homemade-ish popsicle stand, boasting rather gourmet flavors. CJ had a lemonade pop.

You can see how much BH loves a good popsicle...

Mine was peach julep. Fun.

Last big fun of the day was pulling out a tiny pool and letting the little ones go to town with water and mud and the garden hose and cups, ice, spoons, you name it.

Oh, and ice cream sandwiches.

Doesn't he look funny with flat hair?!

Photos of him are never clear because he never.stops.moving. Ever.

One last photo - another one of light. The laundry room is upstairs, has a window, and is tiled (as in, the floor and walls are tiled. Weird.) But the sunlight. Mm-hmm. And natural light in a laundry room? What a treat! My last one was rather cave-like, and while laundry gets done in whatever space it can, I am loving this cheerful change.

It's been just over three weeks since we arrived to our new town and home. I am happy about all that we've gotten done in the settling-in department.

It's alternately energizing and draining to work at the unpacking and home-making.

I find myself on my own roller coaster of ups and downs: confident, then insecure; content, then lonely; capable-feeling, followed by overwhelmed into paralysis; happy, then sad; fearless and fearful.

It's all a good reminder to have compassion on the children as they navigate their own adjustment to this new adventure.

And when fear in particular begins to take hold in my heart over things big or small, one great comfort God has stamped in my thinking is this: That nothing can separate me from His love. It's a much-quoted scripture that for me has become very personal over the past six weeks or so.

Even if my fears are or were valid or came true or not - none of that will change God's great love for me. And that's everything.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or famine or persecution or nakedness or danger or sword?

....For I am convinced that neither death nor life, or angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  - Romans 8:35, 38-39