Saturday, September 27, 2014

My Boy (and an important link at the very end)

 Sometimes, during the witching hour especially, BH likes to stand at the sink and play with water. I turn on the faucet to a very slow flow and he fills cups and makes a mess and is very happy for a long time.

Those eyes.
This is the tiny, handmade rolltop desk that was my dad's in his childhood. I was happy to inherit it from my Grandmom, and it's been sweet to watch the children use and enjoy the kid-sized spot.

Helping dad.
BB constructed these wonderful bike racks. I mean, we have like a dozen bikes. It gets a bit messy. But not anymore!

Young master BH is quite the charmer, with the curls and the dimples and all that. At home and away, he turns heads and gets attention. Very adorable.

But then there's the other side of sweet, cute BH. The sort of Mr. Hyde side.

You know, the tantrums, the stonewalling, the NO! Over the past few months, he'd become quite an unpleasant handful, and honestly, I was completely stumped as to the best way to respond to him.

Each child truly is unique, so in spite of parenting six other children, I felt really overwhelmed as I experienced and observed BH's behavior, attitude, and character issues. That's a calm way of saying He was driving me crazy and I was at my wits' end! Very frustrated with him and struggling with my own anger as I dealt with him!

Adding to the behavioral problems is the fact that our boy has a significant speech delay complicating the picture. He receives language and instructions just fine. He understands. It's just that BH doesn't talk.

I prayed for wisdom. I asked God to help me know how to see these things, and then show me what response was best. On top of all that, I prayed for perseverance, to push through doing the right thing, even if the unsavory behavior continued.

God is faithful. He gave me the wisdom I needed.

Offering BH choices in the moments of potential showdown or conflict is proving to be a beautiful approach. And although he's not saying to me, Mom, I prefer choice number one, he is responding.

For example:

BH sits in his high chair refusing to eat any food for breakfast.

Mom: BH, you have two choices. One - you may finish your banana, OR, Two - you may stay in your chair.

BH: No!

This sounds like ugly contrariness, but I realized after a few attempts at this approach that he was saying NO! to the option of sitting in his chair any longer! He was making a choice.

And, wonder of wonders, he chooses to eat the banana/food almost every time. Sometimes there's a bit of a fit or struggle (on his side of things, not mine), but I've just continued repeating his "options," and eventually he has calmly (and proudly, it seems) decided to eat the food placed before him.

The food fight has been only one of several battle-fronts, as you can imagine.

I am praising God for always answering my requests for wisdom. I am glad my dad reminded me of this particular technique, which he picked up recently from this book. He's found it helpful as he's spent time caring for my 3-year-old nephew. (I've read the Teen version of the book, but not the early childhood one...found it to be very, very useful!)


Grieving and praying over the horror that is ISIS. Please take the time to read this post by Ann Voskamp, who weaves several deep, serious, and beautiful truths together into a real challenge to Christ-followers.

No comments:

Post a Comment